Dogs and Heaven

I found this on someone else's blog, and I love it so I plagiarized it.  Please enjoy:

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Natalie

TX

Much Better Day Today

I got an apology from Y, unprompted even, as soon as he got home from school today. I'm glad he realized how his actions affect others. I'm not sure if it was my crying, or the fact that Bill was angry at him for how he made me feel; and/or the fact that Bill made him go to bed an hour early when he refused to apologize to me last night. I told him I love him, I just don't love his behavior. I also told him he did not have to like me all the time either, that is okay, too. I think he understood me.

I talked to my mom, too. I told her I was mad at her for not talking to me last night. When I told her I talked to dad instead, she said good for him. Apparently he never wanted to be the bad guy when we were kids. I think that's why he always told us to go ask mom when we wanted permission for anything.

Natalie
TX

My mother doesn't even want to talk to me

Heaven forbid she has to go to jury duty tomorrow morning.  I have a son who hates me and a mother who is more concerned about her sleep than that I need to talk to her.  When she answered she said, "Hello, I can't talk right now.  Do you have something you want to tell me?"  I asked why she couldn't talk and she said she had to get up at 4am (it is now 9pm).  I told her don't bother, and hung up.  If she couldn't hear it in my voice, I wasn't going to keep her up.  She didn't call back.

At least my Daddy talked to me.  Thank goodness he has a job with weirdo hours just like mine (he's a cop).  I feel better now.  I may even talk to my mom tomorrow when she calls to tell me how her jury duty went.

Natalie

TX

Help - Need Russian Speaking Counselor in Houston

We really need a Russian speaking counselor in the Houston area.  Y really needs to talk to someone about his anger.  He seems to like Bill, okay, but he hates me.  Yesterday he told me we were a bad family and that I was not his mother.  All this because he asked to get his hair cut last weekend and we told him to wait until we returned home.    We also told him that his "tail" in the back would have to be trimmed because the school district requires boys hair not touch the top of a collared shirt.  Y insisted, no, we insisted that if he was getting his hair cut, all of it would be cut, not just some.

We got home Monday and ten minutes later - "Okay, can I get my hair cut now?" (in Russian, of course).  We told him the salon was closed on Mondays and we were very tired from driving 13+ hours from Sunday night to Monday morning.  We also reiterated that his tail would be trimmed.  Again, no from him, and again yes from us.

So, Tuesday I called and made an appointment for Y to get his hair cut after school.  I told him when he got home.  I also reminded him that his tail would be trimmed.  He said he didn't want to get his hair cut anymore.  I reminded him how he brought the subject up, not us.  Bill insisted that he go with me.  (Of course, Bill didn't want to be the bad guy and be the actual parent that was there when the deed was done.)  On the way out of the house, Y kicked a pair of shoes across the room so hard they left a mark on the wall.  He also slammed the door shut on the house and the car.  I told him this was not acceptable.  So, on the car ride over I got a lot of back talk from Y in Russian.  I didn't understand what he was saying, but I knew he was back talking me.  Y also has been doing a lot of just getting up and leaving when we are talking to him and disciplining him.  We tell him to come back here (in English and Russian) and he just ignores us.  One of us has to go to him physically and block his exit from the room/house and/or make him come back inside.  It is getting very emotionally draining to do this several times a day.

Y said something about the internat as we were pulling into the salon parking lot.  I told him this wasn't the internat, it was a family.  He said, "Bad family!  You are not my mother!  You are now Natasha, not Mama!"  I told him (in my best Russian) that in a family you don't get to do everything you want, when you want to do it.  Again, I'm not his mother and this is a bad family.  He also said he was going to leave.  I said, "No, you're not."  He insisted he would.

He did sit down and get his hair trimmed, but he was in a snit the whole time.  I told the stylist to just trim the tail to make it straight.  All she took off was less than half an inch, but you'd have thought it was the world.  Y kept saying there was a boy at school who has long hair, but I told him that boy was not my son.  Of course, he said he was not my son either.

Y was in a bad mood while we purchased him a 3" ring binder for school and while we were grocery shopping after that.  He wanted to buy candy with the money he got over the weekend and I wouldn't let him.  There was no way he was going to get candy (he still had two bags at home) when he was being disrespectful to me.  The back talk continued the entire time we were away from home.  Y kept telling me it was his money.  I don't care, you're not loading up on candy, especially when you're misbehaving.  He did pick out some peanuts, a can of soup and a paddle ball.  He tried to sneak some candy into the cart, but I caught it at the checkout.

As soon as we got home and he saw Bill he was all lovey dovey to Bill.  I realized I had forgotten to get new batteries for his handheld translator, so I returned to the grocery store by myself while Bill and Y put the groceries away and made dinner.  When I returned home, Y seemed to be in a much better mood.  Bill explained to Y several times that he did not go with Y to get his hair cut because Bill would've had them cut it all off.  High and tight, probably.  He told Y, Mama wanted your hair here, and I wanted it way up here.  I don't know if that helped the situation.  It explained it, but Bill kept bringing it up, which kept the incident fresh in Y's mind.  Bill also told me I over react to everything.  I don't understand how I over reacted to the statements - this is a bad family and you're not my mother.  All I told him was that he didn't have a choice.

This morning, Y was back in a bad mood.  He got up easily enough, but didn't like the fact that I told him to take a shower.  He smelled horrible when he came home from school yesterday.  Then, when it was time to take him to school, he kept asking where the pictures were.  I didn't know what pictures he was talking about, but I showed him the photo book from Ukraine.  He took several pictures of his friends out and one of the school there, and put them in his book bag.  He was in a snit again as we drove to school.  He couldn't get out of the car soon enough.  When I asked for a kiss goodbye, he just said, "No.  Goodbye."

I called Bill as I left the school and told him that I would be surprised if Y came home from school today.  I think he is at least thinking about running away.  Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I am concerned.  I will not give in to his every whim just to make him want to stay.  I'd be at therapy with him tonight if I could find a therapist that speaks Russian.

For those of you who say to pick your battles, just know that I really don't care how long his hair is.  I don't care what color it is, either.  But, the school does have rules, and unfortunately we have to follow them.  We were just going to wait until the school contacted us about the length of his hair, but with Y's attitude lately and the fact that he wanted to get his hair cut, we thought now would be a good time.  That way he won't have to get his tail cut again until August.  His tail is now 2.5 inches long instead of 3 inches long.

Anyone with any suggestions on a Russian speaking therapist, please email me at adoptyaroslav@yahoo.com.  We do have an English speaking therapist available and maybe a Russian translator if it comes to that.

Natalie

TX

Anonymous Comments

"I could never have driven off and left an overturned vehicle without knowing. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Right, wrong or indifferent. Thats just me. I don't care if there was an earthquake going on. A human life is a human life and 30 seconds or a minute of CPR can save one." - Anonymous

This is for the person who left an anonymous comment on my last post.  I understand how you feel.  Apparently I did not give enough information to you on my last post.  We passed the overturned vehicle doing 45mph and accelerating; there was a torrential downpour; before we could safely stop (over half a mile away), the ambulance and fire truck were approaching in our rear view mirror.  What could we have done that the professionals could not?  It would have taken me at least five minutes to jog back to the scene.  There was a lot of traffic on the interstate.  Backing up our vehicle for a half mile during a downpour was not an option.

I was not going to risk injury to my son or risk his life, he was asleep in the back seat.

If you are going to leave comments such as you did, why did you not have the courage to identify yourself?

I decided to publish your comment because I can take criticism.  In the future, anonymous comments will be rejected.  I like to have dialogues on subjects with people, and I can't do that on a blog unless you identify yourself.

Natalie

TX

Too Much Driving

We took Y out of school on Thursday and again today on Monday so that we could travel to see our relatives on Bill's side of the family in both Alabama and Georgia.

Not exactly a cheap trip, we paid about $120 for gas, $100 for food, $337 for puppy/cat in-house sitting, $136 for our youngest dog to be boarded at the kennel (he has to stay in his crate when we leave the house and 22hrs/day in a crate is just cruel), and $300 to make Bill's car trip ready (oil change, oil filter, fuel filter, air filter, air-conditioner filter for the air-conditioner that cools the hybrid engine, wiper blades and a good cleaning). Just under $1ooo total for a five day trip.

I sure could've used that to pay some bills, but Y had never met anyone on that side of the family and I hadn't seen anyone on that side for at least 5 years. Y got to meet two of his babushkas (grandma), one of his dyedushkas (grandpa), three tyotyas (aunts), two dyadyas (uncles), and three koozins (cousins), plus several neighbors and friends of theirs, as well as two little doggies, two big doggies, a cat and a bird.

Y really made out, too. He came home with about $60. He earned $20 for helping Uncle Keith and his friend Terry clear out a lot next to Terry's house and he got the other $40 from his nice Aunties. He also got some cash in the Easter Egg Hunt, but he gave that to his cousin Mike for Mike's birthday. We won't even mention all the candy he ate while we were away and all the candy that came home with him in the car. Oh, and Uncle Keith gave him a fishing pole, too!

Y seems to think he's going to get to buy anything he wants with his money. He needs some fishing bait and tackle, and we know he wants video games. I wonder how far he thinks that $60 will go?

It took about 10 hours to drive from TX to southeastern Alabama. We got there early Thursday and left around midnight Friday night to avoid storms in Georgia. It took about 8 hours to drive to the Atlanta area, getting there early Saturday morning. We left Georgia at about 9pm Sunday night. We had to get back to get Goofy out of lock-up, Bill needed to go on a job interview and Y needed some time at home before going back to school tomorrow morning. He still needs to do his homework, too.

We had a good time visiting with Bill's dad, stepmother and uncle in AL. Y had an especially good time playing with Buster and VZ (VanZandt). Who knew Buster could make it around the block in five minutes without his little paws spewing smoke? Y took him on his rollerblades and poor Buster was tired for the rest of the trip. We also went fishing where Y, Papa, Dyedushka and Dyadya caught over a dozen small fish. The first few were hooked by Papa or Uncle Keith, and Y reeled them in. Quickly though, he was baiting, casting, hooking and reeling his own fish. The hardest part was convincing Y that you had to throw them back in the lake. They were too small and too polluted by the local paper mill to eat. We visited the Gulf of Mexico, too, but Y had to practically be drug down to the water. He refused to take off his shoes and walk on the sand and put his toes in the surf. Too bad he had to shake his shoes out for five minutes after we got back to the car. I tried to warn him!

When we got to Atlanta, Y was quickly squeezed, hugged and tickled by several aunts who had been dying to see him. Aunt Ellen, Aunt Jeannie & Uncle Brian and cousins Nicole and Kamryn (and Russ, too!), all live on the same street; all within five houses of each other. So, we spent the weekend walking in and out of everyone's houses and sitting on the porches until the dead of night. I was so tired, I think my head didn't even hit the pillow before I was asleep on Saturday night. That was the first time Bill and I slept in a double bed in over 10 yrs. Boy was that interesting when you're used to a king sized bed. I kept waking up and trying to push him away, but he was already at the edge of the bed.

Aunt Margaret and cousin Mike came over from the other side of town to add to the festivities. Y is now fully versed in the proper way to give a handshake now, thanks to Russ and Mike. He can't do it without laughing his little butt off, though. Saturday was spent mostly catching up on the last several years, and ended with Y's first ever egg coloring with Kamryn. They both looked like they were trying to turn into the Incredible Hulk by the end of the night with all that dye. Sunday started with Easter baskets, waffles for breakfast and a trip to the lake house. Jeannie and Brian have a cottage they built on Lake Oconoee (sp?). Of course, we had to take a trip around the lake on the pontoon boat. Y's highlight was that Uncle Brian let him drive the boat around for over thirty minutes as we checked out all the cool houses on the lake. Someday we'll have one, too!

We even got pictures of everyone, and I mean everyone last night. Could someone please send us a copy of the 'everyone together' photo? We already had our car packed up and ready to go when that picture was finally taken. A pretty good time was had by all, although Y was getting really annoyed with all the posing for pictures last night.

We left Atlanta at about 9pm; Bill and I took turns driving and sleeping. We were about halfway through Alabama on I20 when a thunderstorm hit. Bill yelled out when he saw a car ahead of him spinning around on the road. I woke up in time to see the guy's bumper sitting in the center lane. His car had hit the guardrail about 1000 feet down the interstate. We could see his airbags had blown and his car was pretty much totalled. Bill pulled over safely, called 911 and got out of our car to check on the other driver in the pouring rain. Turns out his was shaken, but okay. Just as Bill was getting back into our car, we heard another crash behind us. It seems someone had tried to stop for the bumper in the road and the car behind them did not stop. We figured it was best to get out of there before we were hit, too.

Just as we were speeding up, and before we saw the next mile marker, our headlights hit on another object at the side of the road. There was an overturned SUV or truck down in the ditch. So, we made another call to 911. They said, "Oh, we already got that call," and Bill said, "No, there's another overturned car about half a mile away from the first accident. Bill did not go check on the second driver because it was pouring buckets again and he said he wanted to get us out of there before we became casualties of the weather. It was really dark there, so we couldn't see if that driver was out of their vehicle or not. I thought we should have stopped, but less than one minute later we saw the ambulance and fire truck racing down the highway. So, our checking on them probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. We did stop at the next intersection so Bill could get a dry shirt out of the luggage in back of the car. We will never know, I guess.

Gotta go make dinner now.

Natalie
TX