Muuving On Over

Well, Y is in a tizzy again about this blog.  He doesn't want anything with his picture or his name on the internet, period.  So, I have decided to stop posting to this blog.  I will now be posting my thoughts on another of my blogs, WhatMuuvesMe.

Stop on over if you'd like!

Natalie
TX

Best Sermon I've Ever Heard!

I love my church!  It's the perfect fit for me.

Last Sunday, our minister, Rev. Ellen Cooper-Davis, gave what has to be the absolutely best sermon I've ever heard in my life.  The topic was "bullying."  There are truly no words to describe this sermon.  I listened to it again last night, and it made me tear up again.  I urge you to visit her blog and under the links on the right listing her sermons, click on the top one about bullying.  It's well worth the 40 minutes:

http://ruuminations.wordpress.com

(It's audio only, no video; also, skip in to about the 10-11 minute mark if you want to get to the best parts when she starts sharing readings from our own children.)

Enjoy!
Natalie
TX

We're Back in the Homeschool Wagon, Again!

Started back to homeschooling today.  Y is just too far behind in all of the mainstream classes that the high school has him taking, and we're only two months into the school year (not even that, really).  Some of his teachers are not giving him any slack in terms of his English knowledge, and his ESL teacher has him doing ESL 1 work.  When Y asked her about it, she said it was because he "missed" three months of ESL 1 last year, so he had to do it again this year.  She started him way back at the beginning of the curriculum, not just picking up where he left off.

It seems to take every ounce of his energy during the school day just to get his Algebra homework finished and turned in.  The school told me that it was not possible to schedule him an extra study period so that he could get tutoring in all the subjects he needed.  Seriously, don't you think in a school of over 1000 students that they could find a classroom (or conduct it in the library) where either a teachers aide or other students could be available to help those in need?

These are the classes he was enrolled in:

Business Information Management (computers)
Reading (Y really liked this class)
Algebra 1
NJROTC
ESL 1
World Geography
Basic Physics/Chemistry

Y's biggest problem was in BIM - it was a huge class of 30+ students w/ one teacher; no accommodations were given because of his reading ability; ALL information was written & all tests/quizzes were done on the computer where spelling was at a premium (if you misspelled the word, the computer did not recognize it as a correct answer).  His teacher emailed me and asked if Y could come in early or stay after her class for a study period (he was already using all study periods to do his Algebra) because "I have a full class, and I can't sit there and read everything to him..."

So, here we go again.  This time I have found more resources, one of the good ones for us has been Secular Homeschool found at:

www.secularhomeschool.com



Gotta go home now, talk again soon!


Natalie
TX

Cool Cop Car

Forgot to add in the last post, that Y was all abuzz about how "cool" riding in the back of the cop car was the other day.  He was full of questions about why there was almost no leg room in the back, why was there glass between the back and front, and why was there no handle to get out of the car?

Note to Y:  you're not supposed to LIKE riding in cop cars!

Natalie
TX

The Fun We've Had!

Oh, the fun we've had!

A few weeks ago, Y refused to go skating with friends until the last minute.  Then in the car he asked who would be there.  As I mentioned a few of the girls' names, he said, "Mama!  I need go home!"  When I asked why, he replied, "Because I need clean my shirt and use dez-odorant!"  Guess I have a real certified teenager now.  I couldn't breathe with the windows closed when he got back in the car, he used so much of that Axe stuff.

And, this week, one of the boys in his science class called Y a bad word that is also used to refer to a fluffy cat.  Y walked over and pushed the kid, and the kid punched Y, so both have been suspended for three days - AT HOME!  I expressed my extreme displeasure to the asst principal.  I told him that in-school suspension would be much more appropriate.  I understand their zero tolerance policy, but ISS is more of a punishment that staying at home.

When I arrived home, Y was trying to talk to someone on Skype.  Using his computer, of course.  I told him to turn it off immediately.  He conveniently does not remember my saying at the beginning of the school  year that he would lose his computer if he got suspended at school.  Very quickly, Y then told me that his suspension was for Tues/Wed/Thurs, so he could still play on his computer today (Monday).  NOT.  I explained there was a difference - at home suspension starts NOW.  He had two choices, either he turn off his computer or I would.  He refused, so I turned it off and began unplugging the cpu.  Y went ballistic, screaming about why was I touching HIS computer!!!  And he ran out of the house.

When he saw me putting the cpu from his computer, the back-up computer and my laptop in my trunk and locking the car, Y stormed into the house; changed clothes, and slammed the front door on his way out (another huge no-no).  I saw him turn right at the street, so I got on my bike and followed him.  Every time he saw me, he sped up or changed directions.  He eventually walked down the wooded trail to the lake.  When I caught up to him I asked him where he was going and he told me it was "no you business."  So, I asked when he was coming back and he said, "I no NEVER come back!  You no my Mama!"  I told him that I was going home to call the cops.

And that's just what I did.  I waited about an hour for him to cool off and come home by himself; then I got in the car and drove around the lake looking for him, but I couldn't find him.  So, I dialed 911 and reported him as a runaway.  It took the cops almost an hour to show up, but they were very courteous and helpful.  The one cop even said, "Sounds like he's being a complete brat."  It only took them about 20 minutes to find him and bring him back home.  He gave the cops no problems at all and they said they told him that running away never solved any problems, they're still there when you get back.  Y walked morosely back into the house.

I just let him be, but he kept following me in and out of the house for about 15 minutes before he got up the courage to talk to me about what really happened at school.  I found out his version, and then we talked  about how he gave all of his power to the other kid by reacting to being called a "fluffy kitty."  Y kept asking me, "Mama, I very sorry for today, can I have my computer back now?"  No.  "Why?  Why?  Why?"  When I continued to refuse to give his computer back (I did inform him he could earn it back early with good behavior), Y had another melt down, but this one was much more productive than the first.

He told me that he is having a lot of problems with certain kids at school making fun of him and his accent.  They make him repeat things five or more times, saying they don't understand him.  I asked him if they were just being funny, and he said sometimes, but I'm sure it gets old for him really quick.  He is also the only ESL student in the entire school who is not Hispanic (1000+ kids).  We live in East Redneck, so there are a lot of intolerant buttholes around here, and their kids go to public school, too. 

He tells me that he is bored at home without his computer (understandable, there aren't many kids in our subdivision, and those that are here are scheduled out the wazoo with things to do away from home).  And, he thinks I don't love him because my ex was an a-hole and I bought him expensive things (a car, a bowflex, etc) and I don't buy those things for Y.  I asked Y, "Are you trying to be an a-hole so that I'll buy you expensive things?"  His answer was, "No!  Mama, I good!  And, maybe sometimes I bad, but I no a-hole!"  I tried to explain to him that I still have a lot of debt from my a-hole ex-husband that I am trying to pay off, so that means that I have less money to spend on Y, but I'm not sure that totally sunk through.  (Don't even get me started on the fact that my ex let the car that he drove be repossessed just because it was in my name and not his!  He signed the divorce decree that he would refinance or payoff the car when he received $$ from my 401k, but he decided that he was too upside down in that car, so he just bought another one for $3k more than he owed, never made a single payment on the old car, and didn't even call me when it was repossessed.)

So, we tried to come up with a solution to reduce Y's stress at school, or at least reduce his dependence on his computer, but Y keeps shooting down anything that may require him to leave the house.  Arghh...

I am seriously considering going back to homeschooling him.  We'd both agreed that he would attend high school for one semester, and that we'd reevaluate what to do after Christmas, but I'm thinking maybe we should start after Halloween instead.  Gotta go get a better plan in place than I did last time when we just jumped in with both feet and neither one of us knew what we were doing.

Natalie
TX

Still Here

Can't believe it's been months since I've posted, but 52+hour work weeks will do that to you.

Everybody is still alive and well.

Bye for now.

Natalie
TX

Favorite Lines from a Yahoo site

When is your future behind you?
When you stop chasing dreams. So don't stop!

Can a man and a woman ever just be friends?
For a short time perhaps. Making the friendship last requires that you find each other at least vaguely repulsive. Good luck!

How do you know when to end a friendship?
As soon as you get that sneaking suspicion that it never really began.

Why do we turn into our parents when we swore we wouldn't?
Because really, when all is said and done, we admire them.

Why is it so hard to say you're wrong?
Because it often involves saying, "I'm sorry," which is even harder. Throughout history people have found it easier to stop speaking to one another, punch, slander, shoot and bomb rather than apologize. Tip: Next time just say, "Whoops," and see what happens.

Natalie

TX

42 down, 46.5 to go!

There's no "2" in front any more either!

42 lbs down, 46.5 to go.

lost 10 inches in waist, 4 inches in hips and 5.5 inches in bust (seriously, I went from a 42DD to a 36DDD that is loose around the band, but not the cup - gotta love those Seifred boobs).

And a Mom's Day that was quiet! Who could ask for more?

Natalie

TX

"Thank you for today, Mama"

Y is pretty grumpy in the morning, whether that "morning" is 10am or 2pm. But, lately, I have been getting the comment,
"Thank you for today, Mama!" at the end of the day. To which, I usually respond, "You're welcome." But, Sunday, after a particularly bad morning where I called Y out for obeying the "letter of the law" but not the intent (turned his computer off at midnight, but stayed up all night watching TV), and therefore being defiant and disobediant AGAIN. I told him he was nice and polite and respectful to everyone else, but he treats me like dirt, and I'm tired of it.

He had some time to think about his actions while he sat in the car during church, and then went to Sylvan for a couple of hours of tutoring after that. His mood was much improved later that afternoon, and he was actually quite pleasant on Monday morning (maybe because he actually went to sleep?). After a visit to the dentist, and before I left for work, Y told me, "Thank you for today, Mama," again. This time I said to him, "Thank you for every day, Y." His response had me laughing out loud:

"No! Mama! I no can tell you thank you every day, because some days you are MEAN!"

He was quite perplexed when I said, "Yeah! I'm a Mean Mama! Mean Mamas are the best! Grandma was the meanest Mama in town!" Y told me that Grandma is not mean and "I no believe!" I told him that Grandma was mean because she always had to know where we were, who we were with, what we were doing and when we'd be home. Nobody else's mama did that. And, we had rules that no one else had, like no crossing the street by yourself, and she had to know your friends' parents before you could do anything with them.

Y told me that his Papa in Ukraine did the same thing, "That's because you were small, Mama, but now I fifteen and I do what I want." Oh, no, not in Grandma's house. If you lived in her house, you followed her rules, didn't matter if you were 5 or 25. "Serious? Oh my gosh, Mama, I no believe you!"

Natalie
TX

So Much, Too Much

Haven't posted in a while because I really haven't had the time. Homeschooling Y has been interesting, but I'll get to that later.

First a couple of dog stories (I know you've all been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for another one!):

About two weeks ago, Y and I took Michael back to his trainer for a follow up session, he did pretty good, and about an hour and a half later we were pulling into our driveway. As I parked the car, I noticed Miley happily wagging her tail - and standing on the back porch! I asked Y, "Wasn't she inside when we left?" He said, "I think so." All sorts of thoughts of doom and gloom ran through my head, the largest being if a door blew open (it was extremely windy), then I needed to go looking for a 130lb lab; and there's no telling where he'd be or how long he'd been gone. So, I opened my car door and started talking to Miley. Y did not have the foresight to grab Michael's leash during the last minute of our ride, so Michael bolted out the door and headed straight for the woods. Miley began to follow him, but Y was out of the car and halfway across the back deck when I shouted, "NO!" and Miley crouched to the ground. We got her back in the house and Y was quite upset that he had to look for Michael AGAIN. I told him he would have to do it by himself, because I needed to secure the house from the other dogs escaping, and I needed to change clothes and go to work in 30 minutes. Then began a litany of, "Mama, you help me!" and, "No, I have to get ready for work," and, "But you open door!" and, "But you didn't grab his leash!"

Y went off to find Michael, and I discovered that Goofy and Squirt and Daisy and Tigger were all safe and sound inside the house. All doors were locked and all windows downstairs were shut. The mystery continued. I got ready for work, and as I was walking down the hall to come back downstairs, I noticed that the door to Y's room was shut. I remembered that he had left his windows open. I went in there to find 3 open windows, one missing a screen and a happy fat cat sitting in that window enjoying the outdoor breeze. So, I shut his windows, put all of my stuff in my car, and then went down the street to help Y find Michael. Michael was playing with Miley's mama and brother, as I expected, but he ran across the street in front of me and over to the pond before Y could get him. He was out galavanting about 20 minutes or so before Y caught him and brought him home. Y didn't believe me that Miley had fallen out his second story window, fell of the roof into the azaleas and then stuck around our property till we got back, and she'd only been with us for three weeks. Michael's been here eight months and he's spent most of his time trying to figure out how to get away. Sound like anybody else you know? Constantly thinking about leaving, but never really wanting to go anywhere or do anything not associated with his computer?

Dog story #2:

Last Saturday, I took Michael and Goofy on a short bicycle ride to just 'take the edge off' of their hyperactivity. I normally don't take both of them together, since they collectively weigh about as much as I do, and they're much stronger than me. But, that day I was very tired after working a 5:30am shift and meeting with a tutor after that. So, two dogs at once it was. I was only planning on ten minutes, so how hard could that be? Easy peasy, if it wasn't for my neighbors next door. We had no problems passing their house on the way out, but the last 250ft on our way back was the killer. As soon as she saw us, their Rottweiler began charging the fence. I growled at her (seriously), and she backed off as usual. But, their nasty little white dog came running around the house and charged the fence, too. Whitey is the alpha of that pack, no doubt about it. So, the Rottie rethought her decision, and now they had two dogs charging the fence. Well, that's a serious insult to my boys, and they began barking and pulling them, me and the bike over to my neighbors fence (we were about 50ft from them). I straddled my bike and began pulling on my dogs' leashes (firmly attached to the bike handlebars) and screaming, "NO!" at both my dogs and theirs. Yelling at her makes the Rottie stop, but not that nasty white dog; 15lbs of a-hole if you ask me. Unbenownst to me, the owners were sitting outside between their house and garage; I couldn't see them from that point, but the wife did come over and pick up the white dog after about 5 minutes and take it back to the house. The Rottie continued to rage at my dogs and she did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to control that dog. I yelled, "Aren't you going to control BOTH dogs?" and she ignored me as she walked away.

At that point, I was still straddling my bicycle, it was leaning/being pulled to the left by my dogs and I had one hand on the bike and one hand pulling their leashes back to me. It took me almost ten minutes to go that last 200ft back to my property. I couldn't get the leashes unhooked from my bike and my dogs kept reacting to their dog being aggressive. All this time both neighbors were sitting on their bench watching the whole thing take place and laughing at me. I yelled at them three times to please control their f-ing dog (well, at least the first two times I was polite), and they didn't even get off the bench. Once my dogs lost sight of their dog, they immediately began to behave, but I was still very pissed at my dogs and even more pissed at my neighbors. Three times my dogs almost got hit by cars on my street that were trying to avoid their lunges as they drove by. All of the cars had to drive with one tire on the grass on my neighbors' side of the street to avoid us. I was fuming, but I still had two other dogs to walk before the day was over. I was not going to admit defeat and NOT walk my other dogs just because my neighbors are a-holes. So, as I walked Miley and Squirt past their house, the husband began yelling, "Waa! Waa!" at me. I'd had it then, I told them that I was reporting them to animal control for refusing to control their dogs. His response was, "F you, they're on my property!" I told them that his dogs had cost me about $600 in vet bills because of their charging the fence and I would be giving him the bill the next time my son, my dogs or I became injured. He kept yelling obscenities at me, and told me to walk the other way. I told him this was a free country and a public street and I'd walk any way I damn well pleased. When I was on my way back with the last two dogs, the husband approached the fence and asked me if I'd taken my "chill pill" yet. He still hadn't controlled his dog (she was raging again right next to him), so I told him no, and that I was going to call animal control when I got in the house, I'm not waiting for the next time. He told me, "You can't talk to me that way! I am not your dog and I am not your son and you can't talk to me that way!" in a very menacing tone. I told him that he treated me like a piece of shit just fifteen minutes ago, and that I would speak to him any damn way I pleased, and I walked home. I called animal control, but of course they're not there during the weekends, so I got a phone number to call the animal control officer "Joe" and I'll do that after work today. They'll probably just tell me there's nothing they can do about it, but I want to start a paper trail so the next time my son or one of my dogs gets injured I have written proof of an ongoing problem.

Okay, now off the nasty neighbor/bad human being rant.

Y's homeschooling has been limping along. He has a hard time switching from Mama/Son mode into Teacher/Student mode, so I made the executive decision to hire two additional tutors, one in ESL and one in Math. Both are in their 60s, Ms C, his new ESL tutor will do six hours a week on Thursday and Friday mornings (she is of Ukrainian descent, her grandparents moved to Canada way back when), and Ms L is his new math tutor (she is Ukrainian, living here 9 yrs, fluent in Russian and a masters degree in physics). Ms C will come to our house and Y will go to Ms L's apartment on Saturdays after I get home from work. Of course, this will cost me about $175/wk more, but his education is worth it. Plus, no one can say I'm not homeschooling him in a "bona fide manner." I found both of them, as well as my babysitter on www.care.com ; really a good website, check it out. Then we can do any additional fun schooling like museum visits or guitar lessons on Sundays, Tuesday or Wednesday mornings. Y is already complaining about having school six days a week. I dropped the shoe on that one, and told him that his total time would only be around 18 hours away from his beloved computer, so quitchyer b*tching!

My biggest problem with Y right now, is that he disobeys bedtime all the time. He thinks it's a-okay to stay up all night, night after night after night, and sleep all day. What the heck, he doesn't have to do any school work until 5pm! Come on, Mama! I told him previously that was okay on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, but he had to turn the computer off at midnight every other night. He refuses to turn his computer off because it takes too long to restart it, so he just logs off and watches tv before he goes to sleep. When I found him awake at 4:45am this morning (up all night again), even though he knows the rules and I went to bed early last night due to 5:30am overtime I had to work today, I was annoyed to say the least. I told him that he needed to get off the computer now, go to bed and not give me any complaints about going to Sylvan tonight. I also told him that since he can't obey the rules, that from now on I will unplug the internet router and take it to bed with me on the nights when he needs to sleep. Again, "Why?! Why?!" from Y; because you need to be up and awake and ready to learn when Ms C comes on Thursday and Friday mornings (he has to let her in the house on Fridays), and also because you live in TX now, not Ukraine or Russia and you need to live on our sunlight schedule.

We will have a meeting with the therapist and our school district soon, I just don't know when.

Time to breathe now,

Natalie

TX

There Ain't No "Five more minutes, Mama!" in Homeschool

Well, had the meeting with the school district on Monday afternoon. Took our family therapist with me because she's a bit of a pit bull. Glad I did because I needed the moral support. The school vice principal and a couple of the teachers took offense when we told them that they did not do everything they were supposed to do. The school has NEVER tested Y in English or in Russian, as they are required by state law to do. Lo and behold, they never found out that his reading comprehension is at a kindergarten level and his math is at a fifth grade level; and they had him reading 8th grade science books and in pre-algebra! Setting him up to fail is what they were doing. They kept telling me that he could either be classified as ESL or special ed, and not both. I told them that I agreed his IQ level disqualifies him from special ed, but that his ability to perform the work should clue them in that he needs a lot of extra help! "Well, but he can't be classified as both ESL and special ed." And we went round and round like that for several minutes.

Every one of his teachers informed me that Y was a constant disruption in class (hello! - he can't keep up with the reading/math and he's amusing himself), and that if they wrote him up for every discipline problem, then he'd be in the vice-Principal's office every day. I told every one of them that the very first person to advise me that Y was having disciplinary problems was the vice-principal! Not a single teacher ever emailed or called me to nip it in the bud. Every single one of them let him get away with "minor" infractions until they became major. They also administered the exact same consequence every time: ISS lunch. Big deal. By that time he had learned to work the system. Y worked the whole year on the system that Mama would never know if he was bad at school, so why behave? And, each one of his teachers fed into that problem. Of course, they didn't want to take any responsibility for it. Funny thing about responsibility - nobody ever seems to want to take any, just give it way to everyone else.

One teacher who tutored Y last summer (I learned that day, that she did it for FREE), agreed somewhat with me and our therapist. She said Y did not know his alphabet or how to read at all when she got him last June; and by the end of the summer he knew his alphabet and could read at a kindergarten level. This teacher asked the others just exactly what they'd been doing with him all year, because although his vocabulary had grown and his pronunciation is pretty good now, but his reading comprehension has not improved at all in 7 months. Exactly my question! But, she kept insisting that the school had done all it could and more, so, "Someone else has to step up to the plate and take some responsibility!" That statement made my blood boil, and I immediately replied that she had no idea what our home life was like last summer. I informed her that I was a single parent for the last six months and that I had no one else to help me, except a babysitter whose forte is not math or science by any stretch of the imagination. I asked the VP if he remembered that I told him several times that I worked three night shifts each week. He said he did. Then several of the teachers asked why, even if I was tired after work, could I not go over his homework with him when I got home from working the night shift? I was astounded - don't these TEACHERS know what the word "night" means? The looks on their faces when I asked them if they wanted me to wake him up at midnight or 1am so that we could do schoolwork "when I get home from work," was priceless. Apparently to them, working at night means you get home by 8pm, not 10pm or 1am or 7am!

I then asked how I was supposed to force him to bring his homework home with him? Most days he didn't bring anything home from school. And, I have no access to his work unless he does bring it home. Then I told them that when I was informed he was not turning in his homework, I did go through his binder looking for it. When Y saw me doing that, he started raging. I was then interrupted by a few of his teachers who told me that they had teenagers, and their kids didn't like them going through their things, but they did it anyway. I asked these teachers did they understand the difference between the meaning of 'dislike' and the meaning of 'rage'? They didn't quite get it, even when our therapist explained that I actually meant 'RAGING' when I said it, and not mere anger. She also explained that my son did not have a concept of family life before he came here, nor did he have personal possessions, therefore he was overcompensating now and considers everything his possession and "none of your business!" They still didn't get it, even when I told them that such a personal possession as your own hair was violated by the school district, so he gave up any pretense of behaving and doing his work when they made him cut it. "Oh, puh-lease!" was their response.

Then we cut to the chase - what was/is the school district's plan for Y? The first words out of the VP's mouth were, "How old is he?" I said, "Almost 15 and a half, why?" And the VP said they would just re-enroll him in the 8th grade next year.

That's it.

That's the sum total of their plan, in a nutshell, and there'll be room left over. Y could attend summer school, at my expense, and they also expect me to have him privately tutored for at least two years at my expense. I asked them what made them think that he would be able to perform at an 8th grade level in four months as opposed to now? They are just setting him up to fail again. I also told the VP that I was not comfortable putting my 16 yr old son in a school with 12 year olds, I would rather have him moved up to the high school and put in special education classes. He said the school would not be willing to do that.

So, I told them my plan - homeschool, where I could do it on my schedule and I could still provide the private tutoring for him, but I would not be restricted to after-school hours, and I would not be exclusively reliant on others to provide Y's transportation to and from it. As an added bonus, I don't have to get up at 6:30am after arriving home at 1:00am the night before.

The only thing the school agreed to do (at their expense) was to give Y the testing that they should've done a year ago! This will be accomplished by August, and then we'll re-evaluate homeschooling at that point.

Last Monday evening, I took Y to the "fishbowl" at the high school where they tell all the incoming freshman what to expect, what classes to take and what activities/clubs are available. We found two really good activities for him: Interact Club and JROTC. Interact does community service projects on an international scale and JROTC is JROTC. Y was not interested in that until they told him he could do rifle drills and other cool stuff. When the instructor told the kids that the group was student led, but that none of the freshmen would be in charge of anything, Y leaned over to me and said, "Mama, no one in charge of me!" Oh boy, does he need JROTC! I sure hope the school district will let him participate even though he's being homeschooled.

Tuesday morning was our first day of homeschooling, hence the title of this post. At 10am I woke Y up and he replied, "Five more minutes, Mama, please." I told him there was no five more minutes in homeschooling, get your butt up, you have four puppies to tire out! (Yes, Michael is back from doggie school - and he's had a largely successful personality transplant.) We began with 1 hour and 15 minutes of bicycling and walking the legs off of four large dogs. Y complained the last twenty minutes or so, but I told him "too bad!" Next was breakfast and a couple of hours of "science" where he watched two episodes of the Discovery Channel's series, "Life." Then he told me about what he watched, and then it was time for me to go to work. I told Y that very soon he would have to do more than just tell me about what he was watching, he would have to write a few sentences about the program, too. "Maybe, Mama."

That evening, my babysitter picked him up and took him to Sylvan for two hours of tutoring, and he gave her no problems. Wednesday was much the same, gym followed by science and Mama going to work. Y told me that he was tired when I left, but when the babysitter got there he told her he was too sick to go to Sylvan, and refused to go. She was in a panic when she called me, but I assured her that the only person who would suffer a consequence for Y not going to tutoring was Y. When I got home I told him that if he was "sick" again, D would test his temperature. If he had a fever he could stay home. No fever, get his ass in the car and quit his bitching. If he failed to do so, he would lose his computer for TWO days. Gasp! Say it ain't so. Y promised not to do it again. Yeah, right.

Long post, will post more later.

Natalie

TX

Tidbits

Got a meeting with the school scheduled Monday after classes are over. We'll see how that goes. Y keeps asking me if he still has to go to school after that. We'll see.



Y got a letter from his birth father last night. He took it upstairs to read, and came down extremely upset, said he needed to get a job right away so he could send money to his birth father. We discussed how he is not responsible for supporting his birth father, how he cannot get a job right now because he needs to concentrate on his schoolwork. Y told me he didn't need to know how to read to get a job. I told him, not in America - if you can't read the application, you won't get the job. I told Y that we would figure out some way for him to earn money this summer, but that I wanted him to save it for himself. Y wanted to know why we could not visit Ukraine this summer (again, money); could he go when he's 17? (No, you can't go until you're 18, and then only if you have saved enough money to go.) So, Y wants to start a savings account so he can save "big money." I told him we would send some pictures to his birth dad and he would be allowed to put $20 in the envelope. He has decided to wait until he cleans up his room and bathroom, so that he can take pictures and send those to his birth father as well. In all honesty, I do not know if he is being directly asked to send money, or if he just infers the need from his birth father's writing of how life is in Ukraine. This is only the second letter he has received from the man in a year. His last phone contact was in June 2009. I think I will have to have a friend translate the letters for me first, if another one arrives. I will try to get a copy of this one and have her tell me what it says, as well. Then I may need to write him a note telling him that if he sends one more letter requesting money, all of his letters will be monitored before delivery. Y's gonna love that if he finds out.



Someone who shall remain nameless got a new job today. Hopefully that will begin paying soon, because I just got notice from the lawyer that court will not be until late April. Ugh! Everything is signed and ready to go, but we can't get a court date for another 5 weeks, and then who knows how long before the settlement check is actually mailed. It'll probably be June or later before I get reimbursed and everything gets paid off! And, to top it off, I have negative $23 in my account right now and 10 more days till I get paid again. I guess it's back to the payday loan place for another round. I haven't even bought groceries yet.



Before you ask, I had some unexpected expenses this paycheck and last: $684 for Michael's doggie school (with $600 more owed), plus $800 for Y's tutoring and evaluation (+ $325/month). Both times I think it is money very well spent (they've given three other dogs personality transplants while training them), but I sure would like to eat this week, not to mention gas to get to work next week. I do have $300 in savings, so I'll go get that out before I go to the payday place. $145 of that goes to Y's caregiver next week. She asked for an extra $20 a week because now she has to take him 30 minutes away to tutoring each night for two hours each time. A little pricey, but he needs the tutoring and that was when they could fit him into their schedule. And, it relieves me of the stress of taking him because it is accomplished while I am at work.



We will be at E's birthday party this weekend, though. I sure need that stress relief of being around friends, and Y is actually looking forward to it. Maybe I'll have him make her a card instead of buying one!



Natalie

TX

OMG! I'm in Heaven!

I just did a little old Google search and found something that I wasn't sure existed: a liberal homeschool resource! And they have two groups in Houston, no less!


http://www.uuhomeschool.org

I actually brought up the subject to Y tonight. At first he was giddy and kept saying he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow at all. I told him that he has to go to school tomorrow because there are certain legal requirements I must complete before I can remove him from public school. I told Y my plan was to remove him from public school for the last 2.5 months and homeschool him from now until the school year begins again in late August. He seemed okay with that, and actually sounds like he wants to go to high school next year. I explained that I didn't think the school and teachers would be able to help him enough to bring his reading and math up to par in the next two months. I also told him that he would still go to Sylvan for 4-6 hours a week, but that he would have additional schooling at home with me after work on Mondays and Fridays, in addition to an extra two hours or so on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Y told me, "You no can teach me math!" Poor thing, he has no idea what's in store for him. I told him absolutely no slacking off, and no telling me that he didn't want to do school today. I told him if he ever sassed me, that I would re-enroll him in school the very next day and he could start getting up at 6:30am again!

Y told me that he wanted to ask his friends questions at E's birthday party on Saturday afternoon and he would give me his answer sometime Saturday evening or Sunday. He was less than thrilled when I told him that we would still have gym class every day, too. Y wants me to buy him a Bowflex like the one Bill took with him when he left. Not likely. We have a Gold's Gym five minutes away. We'll be visiting that once or twice a week. Plus, of course, we have four big puppies that would just love daily walks/runs/bike rides/swims in the lake, etc. I'll get all my exercise just kicking Y's ass on a daily basis.

He will be involved in the family budget as much as he can understand it. I will be using combinations of info gained from Suze Orman, Ric Edelman and Gail Vaz-Oxlade of CNBC's "Til Debt Do Us Part." I've already bought five jars to use for 'food,' 'transportation,' 'clothing & gifts,' 'entertainment,' and 'everything else.' I'm going to make Y use a budget binder/book, and he'll have to tell me first which jar each receipt belongs in, then he will be responsible for recording them in the budget binder/book and ensuring that we do not exceed the weekly amount allocated to each jar (ie, $200.00/wk for food, $75.00/wk transportation, $25.00/wk entertainment, etc.). I'm sure Y will hate the entertainment budget, since he'll have to share it with me! I might make it easy on him and buy him a calculator. Not.

As for reading, I will be supplementing Sylvan's stuff with the Rosetta Stone English edition that I bought last year.

Not sure what I'll do to meet the requirement for "good citizenship" just yet.

Gotta go to bed, Y goes to school tomorrow and I go to jury duty. Too bad I can't take him with me tomorrow!

Natalie
TX

Please Visit This Website About Adoption Tax Credit

There is a website devoted to alerting everyone that the adoption tax credit is set to expire at the end of this year. Without this tax credit, most families would not be able to afford adoption, and many children would be left without families.

Please visit, and contact your local congressman and senators.

Thank You,
Natalie
TX

http://adoptiontaxcredit.blogspot.com

One Year Home

Finally, that one year mark!

Way too much to blog about now, but will get back to it next week on my breaks at work.

Even spent St Patty's Day dragging Y to something else he didn't want to do - testing at Sylvan Learning Center. They're way expensive, but they already have a definite plan to get Y reading up to speed (or very close there) before he enters 9th grade. Makes me want to pull him out of school for the rest of the year and just have him go to Sylvan. Seriously.

Natalie
TX

I need another hole in my head

Seriously, I must need another hole in my head, because we have a new addition to the family.

Please welcome:

Miley Montana

She's about 4 months old and a Rottweiler/Blue Heeler mix. Not the best picture of her, I know, but I'll get a better one here soon enough. Let me explain her name. As some of you know, all of our animals have Disney names:

Squirt, 6yr old Pit mix, name of turtle in "Finding Nemo"

Tigger, 4yr old fat cat, spelled T-I-double Grr- Rrr from Winnie the Pooh

Daisy Duck, 4yr old fluffy cat, wife of Donald Duck

Goofy, 2yr old humongous lab, Mickey & Minnie's dog (or is Pluto their dog and Goofy their friend?)

Michael, 1yr old boxer mix, Wendy's little brother in "Peter Pan"

Now, on to Miley Montana. For those of you without young kids, she's named after Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana of the Disney Channel. You can't really see it in the picture, but her face is half rottweiler and half blue heeler. So, I thought it would be quite appropriate to name her after a gal who plays two characters on Disney TV. Boys have one name in our pet household and girls have two names, hence the two names of Miley Montana. We'll just call her Miley, though.

Both Mama and Papa doggies are from our neighborhood. Mama Rottie lives just down the block from us, and Papa Blue-Heeler/Lab mix is 'owned' by our Ukrainian neighbors. Apparently he made a nocturnal visit or two down the block last summer. There were three puppies from that little liaison, two girls and one boy. I don't know what happened to the other girl, but the family with the rottie is keeping the boy. They also have a female black lab. She's not fixed either, and the last time she went into heat, she terrorized Miley to the point that Miley was a shaking pile of fur when she was rescued by our Ukrainian friends and taken to their house for a few days. Papa Puppy wasn't too happy to have the intrusion on his territory, either, so they asked us if we could take her in.

So far, this puppy has been a big old lump of LAZY. I've never had a puppy that just lays on the bed/couch/floor all day. She's really lively when you go for a walk (although she walks on a leash very well - better than Michael), but inside she's a quiet little mouse. We'll give her a few days to acclimate. And, she is so totally unconcerned that we have cats. Hey, they're nice things to look at, sniff once in a while, but she really doesn't care what they're doing. Michael, on the other hand spends 60% of his day concerned with where the cats are, what they're doing, and can he get away with chasing them.

The initial meet-n-greet went okay, for the most part. Our friends' daughter, A, was so concerned about the puppy that she begged to come back with us and see her off to her new home. I hope we allayed her fears. Miley met with Squirty first. Amazing, the pit bull is the most mellow dog in the house (well, until Miley got here). He was excited to meet a new buddy and completely un-territorial. Miley was a little hesitant, but within five minutes decided she had met her new best buddy. They met outside, so I told the kids to stay on the back deck with those dogs, and I went inside the house to deal with Michael and Goofy. I put Goofy in the cage, and tied Michael up outside by the front door. It took Michael ten seconds to smell Miley in the backyard and freak out. He was so hyperactive and excited to meet her, that she wouldn't come within five feet of him. The closer we got, the more of an A-hole he became, so we decided to let her go inside and meet with Goofy next. Miley decided that the laundry room was awesome and she wanted to stay there for quite a long time. Goofy took about ten minutes to calm down, and I let him out of the cage and put a leash on him. He is the alpha dog, and I needed to insure that I could control his meeting with Miley. It went relatively well, but Goofy started to corner Miley in the laundry room, so she snapped at him. I corrected Goofy and pulled him back, then I went in and sat next to Miley and praised her for being calm in Goofy's presence. After five minutes, I took Goofy back to the living room where he and Squirt sat at our feet while we watched TV.

Miley got up after a few minutes and investigated the kitchen and breakfast room, and Goofy and Squirt stayed at our feet. Then it was time to go to bed, so Y took Miley into his room and shut the door. I took Michael, Goofy and Squirt into my room for the night. And not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

I decided the next morning that I did not want to go through the logistics of keeping Michael and Miley separate until Michael calmed down enough to accept her, so Miley was kept in Y's room when we left for school/work. I called the trainer we've used before for Miko, Squirt and Goofy (Man's Best Friend) and arranged to bring Michael in for two weeks of doggie "school" Friday afternoon. Our house feels so much calmer without all of his hyperactive energy in it. Let's put this in perspective - yesterday he got 1 hour of swimming in the lake, plus thirty minutes of chasing his butt around the neighborhood when he decided to bolt from the lake, plus 20-30 minutes of pulling Y on his skateboard, plus 30 minutes at the dog park - and he STILL had energy left to freak out when meeting Miley.

With Michael gone, Miley seems to be fitting in seamlessly with the rest of the household. Ahhh, two weeks without Michael!

Spring Break is starting out to be pretty fun!

Natalie

TX

This Ain't My First Rodeo, Ya Know!

Well, actually it was. The first one I ever attended and the first for Y, too. Can't believe I've been in Houston over 11 years and never once went to the Rodeo. Of course, I got the standard, "Mama, I no go, I stay home and play on computer," for the week leading up to our "rodeo day." So I enlisted the help of E, she called Y just before noon on Sunday and they had a little conversation. When they hung up (er, when she hung up on him), Y said, "Okay, I go shower now," with a smarmy little grin on his face. It turns out E chewed him out for wanting to stay home: "What is more important, your computer or your friends!!!" - click! Y insists he went becuase I told him he could stay up late a few nights to "make up" the time lost from playing on his computer, but I know he went because he's terrified of E being mad at him. She even punched his arm, hard, when we finally got down to the rodeo and found our friends.

There's a huge carnival outside, and the kids had a good time riding till they ran out of tickets while the adults sat down and chatted. It was tough finding something relatively healthy to eat, but I ended up with a grilled shrimp sandwich, and Y ate most of my french fries. I even talked Y into getting his picture taken at the rodeo, and he talked M into getting into the picture, too. They decided to dress up as Frank and Jesse James, and their sepia toned photo looks awesome. I'm scared just looking at their scowls. Five minutes and $50 later we had a copy of the photo for each of them. Y said the guns were real, but they weren't loaded and wouldn't shoot anyway. If I can get the photo scanned in, I'll post it at a later date.

The actual rodeo takes place at Reliant Stadium. Being a Texans season ticket holder, I have a relatively good knowledge of the place. It makes a pretty good rodeo, too. We saw bronc busting, bull riding, barrel racing, chuckwagon racing, steer rasslin, calf roping and my favorite, the mutton races. That's where 5-6 year old kids put on helmets, grab the coat of a sheep and hold on for dear life for about 75 feet or so. I'm sure in 10-15 years some of those kids will be the ones riding the bulls. Then they drug the stage out, turned out the lights and we got to hear some music from a gal named Debbie Lovato and then some little group of boys called The Jonas Brothers? Anybody heard of them before?

Those girls were going nuts down low when the lead singer ran over to the edge of the stadium, climbed up on the rails and sang half the song to them. I bet a few of them fainted, too. The Jonas Brothers are not really Y's cup of tea, so we left after about three songs. As we were walking out, all Y could think about was asking me to buy him an "Icee." I reminded him that they were not Icees that he saw at the football game, they were Margaritas, and Hell had not yet frozen over. He kept at it, and I told him I did not want to get arrested for buying him alcohol. Y insisted that it was okay, "In America, you my mother, you can buy me - is okay - I tell you!" Well, there were two cops standing up ahead, so I walked right up to them and asked them to tell my son that I would get in trouble if I bought him alcohol. Imagine my surprise, when the first question the cop asked me, "Are you his mother?" I replied, "Yes," and the cop said, "Well, then legally you could buy it and give it to him and there's nothing I could do as long as he isn't driving home."

Well, you could've bowled me over with a feather! Hello! Legal to give a child alcohol as long as you're their parent! I knew Texas was stupid about stuff, but I didn't realize how stupid. I said to the cop, "Well, you could've lied to me with my 15yr old standing right next to me! Thanks for making my drive home so unbearable now." And then began the litany of, "Okay, you buy me Margarita now. Policeman say is okay, Mama! Why you no buy me?" RRRRRRRRR.....

Y was so relentless with his questioning on the way back to the car, that I said something that should've been left unsaid, or at least approached in a different manner at a different time. "Y, your parents are alcoholics, so I worry that you have that same thing in your brain that makes you want more and more alcohol as soon as you've had your first drink." Well, then came the very emphatic reply, "My father no alcoholic! Why you say he alcoholic? I no say bad things about you family!" I reminded him that he told me there was always money for vodka, but not always money for food. Anyone who buys alcohol first and food for their child second is an alcoholic. Y was so angry at me, that I told him maybe I was wrong when I thought he was talking about his birth father, maybe he meant his stepdad when he said that. He barely spoke to me for the rest of the trip home. However, about 20 minutes after we got home, he wanted help with something on his computer, so he broke his silence and all has been well, since.

Y did stay up two hours later than normal last night. He was tired, too, but there was no way in heck that he was going to sleep away any extra computer time he was granted. He gave me no problems getting up this morning, and was very chipper after school. He took his ticket in for a little show and tell, and came home with the news that one of the 14 year old girls at the school was pregnant. Specifically, he said, "Because she do something and now she have baby in her belly." I said, "You mean she had sex and now she's pregnant." Y - "Yes."

Oy. 'That' something. Guess we're going to have 'that talk' pretty soon. I'm not 100% sure that he makes the connection between sex and babies yet. I'm pretty sure he knows what sex is, but not necessarily the science of it all. I did tell him, though, that having a baby at 14 wasn't necessarily a good thing. I told him he needed to do some more work on how to be a good son before he starts thinking about being a good father.

Natalie
TX

Mr Charming and Mr Snarky

Mr Charming came grinning to his bedroom door Tuesday night at 11:45pm when I came home from work. I knew he was awake, his light was on when I came down the driveway. Busted! The babysitter laughed when I told her if she heard screaming from upstairs in a few minutes it was going to be Y when I ripped him a new butthole. He knows when bedtime is (10pm) and he knows the rules apply whether I am there or not. He just figured he could get one over on her last night. My only problem with this babysitter is that I don't think she's forceful enough with him. I don't know if she's afraid of making him angry or what, but we'll have a little talk tonight when I get home. I'm gonna show her how to unplug the main internet connection from the office downstairs. Y does know where that is, but hopefully he will get the message that it's time to sleep!

Y told me that the reason he was still up, and still on his computer was because Monday he did not get to play at all. He has a very short memory - he played on his old computer because the 'new' one had to be stripped back to factory specs AGAIN and have Windows reloaded AGAIN, and that takes about 4 hours. This time it happened because he interrupted a Windows update in progress to play games, and the computer was just way too confused what to do next. (I love my Mac.) I only had three words for him, "Turn it off." He asked for five more minutes. I told him he had taken an extra hour and a half without permission and he surely was not going to get another five minutes. "Turn it off now, or I'll turn it off for you." He kept begging, so I told him one more word and he'd lose computer privileges for the next night. He turned it off. Smart boy.

Wednesday morning was lovely, he refused to go to school because he did not get enough sleep the night before. The nerve of this boy! I gave him two choices:

1. Go to school with your clothes on.

2. Go to school without your clothes on.

When he refused to get up again, I simply pulled on his arm till he realized I was serious, and he got dressed and went to school. The sitter said he was cranky all Wednesday evening, too. She told me he was playing on the old computer in the kitchen while she made dinner and his music was loud, so she asked him to turn it down. Then he played his game on that computer while she was trying to clean up the floors and the gunfire got on her nerves, so she asked him to turn it down again. Y told her that this was his house and he didn't have to! I was still at work when she told me this, and I told her to give him the phone. Y and I then discussed how, yes, this is his house, but the sitter is in charge because I say she is in charge, and he WILL follow the rules whether I'm there or not. If it will help him, I'll take a picture of my "Monster Mama Face" as Y calls it, put it on a stick and the sitter can hold it up to her face any time she has to tell him to do something. Apparently that talk worked, because the sitter told me when I got home that he came downstairs and apologized for being rude to her. Even shook her hand.

Thursday morning was even more lovely. He flat refused to get out of bed, period. Guess he thought he was calling my bluff from the day before? NOT. I had everything ready to go, including a set of clothes in the car. I went up to his room and when he refused to go to school for the third or fourth time, I put my arms under his, locked my arms around his chest and dead-lifted him out of the bed and drug him all the way out of his room before he gave up and got dressed. I might be losing weight, but I'm still bigger than him, and a lot stronger than I look. 155lb dead-weight! Heck, I carried a 65lb dog over a quarter of a mile home after he got bit by a snake!

I told Y in the car on the way to school Thursday that he had lost his computer privileges for the evening. He stays home alone Thursdays, and I get home either at 8pm or 9:30pm. This was one of those late nights. I did find out how to get Y to call ME when he gets home from school (instead of me waiting and then calling him): disable his computer! More specifically, take the power cords to both computers in the house with you to work. OMG!!! What was he gonna do!!! OMG! Mama! I no can play ALL DAY?!!! I told him to eat the dinner I had left for him, walk the dogs and go to sleep. He said he wasn't hungry. Then don't eat, I said.

Long story short, someone was dead to the world when I got home from work. Seems he got over 10 hours of sleep that night. Imagine what you can accomplish when your computer doesn't work? Friday morning he was extremely compliant, if not happy about his situation. After school, Bill came over and talked to him a bit, and when I got home they were outside and Y was riding the tractor and mowing the lawn for the first time this year. Finally a chore he actually wants to do. And, he was even pleasant to me, to boot.

When I asked if he wanted steak for dinner, he said, "No." Then I said, "What if Bill cooks it?" Y said, "If Bill cooks it, okay, because you no good cook." Brat. I've never cooked a bad steak on the grill. I suck at all other kinds of cooking, but I can grill pretty good. Kinda hard to mess that up.

Y even slept for about 12 hours last night till early this afternoon. He said Michael woke him up when he pooped in his room. (I let Mikey out at 5am to do his business, and then put him back in Y's room to sleep; apparently Y did not get up till after 1pm, so after 8 hours it's understandable that a puppy would have to go; Y cleaned it up, too, which is a huge improvement over leaving the evidence for Mama to clean like he usually does - guess he doesn't like that smelly stuff in his room!)

Now, just working on getting him to go to the Rodeo with our group of adoptees tomorrow.

Natalie

TX

Great Quotes

I was having a particularly hard day the other week after being proselytized at work (that's a whole 'nother blog and a whole 'nother story), and while talking to my sister the next day she read me some good quotes from her bathroom reader. I can't remember who said some of them, but I can guarantee you that I came up with none of them. I also cannot guarantee that they're perfectly accurate either. Some are from a few financial shows and other shows that I watch like Suze Orman, 'Til Debt Do Us Part and Realtime with Bill Maher. Here they are:

1. Don't be afraid that your children do not listen to you, be afraid that they're watching your every move.

2. The Bible is a very good book, but it's not the only book.

3. When you are in debt, you have fewer options.

4. If we let them (gun owners) have the second amendment, why can't they let us have the rest of them?

And my absolute favorite one:

You were born an original, don't die a copy.

Words to live by, if you ask me.

Natalie

TX

Celebrating One Year!

Last week I told Y that we would officially be Mama and Son for one year on Saturday 2/27. He said, "Okay, is cool." High praise from a teenager. I asked if he wanted to celebrate, and I explained that we could actually celebrate one of three dates: Adoption Day 2/27; Gotcha Day 3/13; or, Home to USA day 3/19. Y said he wanted to celebrate by staying at home and playing on his computer all day! What makes that different than any other weekend?

Several times last week, Y asked me why did I go to Ukraine to get him, "Because I no ask you come get me, so why you come?" I reminded him that during his second hosting trip, when Bill asked him if he would like to "come and live with us forever," he said a very emphatic, "Yes!" Being the linear thinker that he is, he pointed out that we asked him, he did not ask us. Then I reminded him that he said, "Yes," a second time on 2/06/09 when I finally got to the orphanage, and a third time when we went to court. So, what was his response when I asked why he said yes three times if he didn't want to come to America and be my son? - "Because I no want you cry." I called his bluff on that one (even if he can't admit it to himself just yet), and said that he was the one who was going to cry. I told him I thought he said yes, because he was afraid that I would leave and he would never see me again, no more phone calls, no more packages, no more Mama. "No, is because you cry, and Mikey cry because he no be with me now. And maybe Goofy and Squirt cry, too." What about Tigger and Daisy? "Tiggy like me, maybe, but Daisy no like me because I smell like Mikey."

Off to take that precious computer to the store for some fixin. It's stuck in "update" mode when you turn it on, and when you eventually exit out of that, it won't let Internet Explorer work. He can still connect to the internet to play his video game, he just can't surf the web, etc. And he wonders why he never gets an allowance.

Natalie

TX

Officially a Fatso

Goofy in front (no face) 133lbs

Squirt in center, brindle & white, 64lbs

Michael on right, brindle, 55lbs

(Basically, Squirt + Michael + Daisy = Goofy)

Took Goofy and Michael to the vet this morning. Goofy needed his yearly shots and Michael had to get his bordatella update and he had stitches removed from his ear. $325 later, I walked out. I must spend $3-4k a year there. I refuse to add it all up, because then I would be putting a price on love.

Goofball weighed in at a whopping 133lbs! No wonder Mikey can't get up when Goofy decides to use him as a pillow. So, now not only is Goofy on Science Diet JD (joint disorder) food, and glucosamine treats, he is now also on Slentrol - a diet medicine for doggies. With any luck he'll be down to 100lbs by the end of the year. I'd hate to think how huge he would be without Michael wrestling with him 24/7/365. Okay, make that 20/7/365 - they do have to sleep at least a little bit every day. Alas, I'm sure I'll be the one taking him for long walks every day. Heaven forbid my 15yr old does it.

As for my weight loss:

-21.5lbs in 8 weeks

Hips -3 inches

Bust -4 inches (OMG, they're disappearing!)

Waist -8 inches (halfway done!)

With an average loss of 11 lbs/month I will be "High School Skinny" in about another six months. Too bad my 25yr reunion is Memorial Day weekend.

Natalie

TX

PS - Threats of embarrassment work! Y has completed all of his homework and he's been running in gym class every day. Guess his legs don't hurt enough to forgo using his computer for an evening!!!

Evil, Conniving Mama

I was a bad Mama again today. Y told me so. I woke him up at 5:45am and we were in the car on the way to school at 6:05am, because I had to be at work at 7am. If I drop him off at 6:20am, I have just enough time to get to work and not be late. The supes know that I have to drop my son off, and the earliest he can get in the school is 6:15am. We shoot for that, but somehow never seem to make it.

Tuesday I got another phone call from the VPrinciple at Y's school. It seems he decided to slide down the bannister during a fire drill that afternoon, so his aide brought him up to see the VP again. Y doesn't seem to get the concept that the VP shouldn't even recognize you, let alone know your name. Well, Mama knows his name is Mr. H.! Y has been having more problems than sliding down a bannister when specifically told not to do so; he claims he has completed all his homework, but somehow 3+ assignments in ESL, math and science have mysteriously disappeared before he could turn them in to his teachers. He gets good grades on his tests, so he thinks that is all that should matter. He's doing awesome in ESL, when he completes his work. Mr. H. said that Y has learned as much English in one year as most of the other ESL students learn in 5 years. Y told me his ESL homework is "easy-peasy." The only reason he is failing math and science are because of big fat ZERO's on his homework assignments! His test scores are just fine. He even got a 100 on his last math test!!! Maybe he's not being challenged enough there with the modified homework he is being given?

Another problem is his attitude in gym class. He has a personality conflict with his gym teacher. She tells him what to do, and he ignores her and does what he wants to do. She has assigned him several ISS (in-school-suspension) lunches and at least one full day in ISS, and she has docked his grades for non-participation to the point that he's failing gym!!! How do you fail gym!?!

Well, Mr. H. told Y (and me) that if Y could not complete his homework during his study period or at home, then he would be forced to stay after school for after-school-suspension (dare I say, ASS?) and do it in Mr. H's office. Then he would have to ride the activity bus home which means that he would not get home till around 5:30pm. GASP!!! Two whole fewer hours on his computer!!!! I also explained to him that if he failed any of his classes that he would either be held back in 8th grade (not likely due to his age - 15 - and size 5'8"+ and 155+lbs) or the most evil thing in the world would happen to him:

SUMMER SCHOOL.

I was informed that no way, no how was he going to summer school. My response, "Then turn in your homework! That's all that's standing between you and summer school right now!" I think we have that one solved. He really does not want to go to school in the summer, nor does he want to spend one extra minute there on any given day.

So, the only question left is how to solve the gym class dilemma. ISS lunch doesn't work, docking his grade doesn't work... so all I have left is the "Nuclear Option." It seems what Y really hates doing is running. This gym teacher requires the kids to do a few minutes of stretching and about 3 minutes of running as a warmup each day for class. Class is about 45 minutes long with about 15 minutes to change and shower after class. Y tells her almost every day that his legs hurt and he doesn't want to run. I'm sure his legs are very sore, and running isn't the most enjoyable thing, but three minutes shouldn't hurt anyone. Y has grown 5 inches in about 10 months and he's fixin' to go through another growth spurt real soon (two weeks of 12-16 hour "naps" followed by a few weeks of 2-3 dinners each night and constantly "I hungry, Mama!" with several nights of insomnia due to leg pain). So, while I believe the pain is real, I think he can still do a 3 minute jog. It's not like he's highly active when he gets home. He rides his bike, with Michael doing all the pulling a couple of days a week. Sometimes he plays soccer with Mikey in the back yard for 30 minutes, but that's pretty much about it. Last night, I informed Y what the "Nuclear Option" was, and today I emailed his gym teacher - her response was "class is from 10:00 until 10:57am!" come on down - you're the next contestant on 'Embarrass the Foxtrot Out of Your Teenager at School!'

The Nuclear Option:

If I get one more phone call or email from either Mr H or Ms S about Y's behavior I will:

1. Shadow Y in class all day and tell everyone in his class that I am there to make sure Y follows all the rules today and turns his homework in to his teachers because he can't be trusted to do it on his own.

2. Show up for his gym class dressed in shorts, t-shirt and my running shoes. Y will get a 5 second head start, then I will chase him down and when I catch him he will lose his computer privileges for that day.

Y's response, "Maybe they no let you in school, Mama!" I told him it is a public school and all I have to do is sign in at the office and have one of the office aide kids escort me to wherever he is and the embarrassment shall begin immediately. Then Y told me, "You no catch me!" I told him that I've caught his dog, Michael, so catching him should be "easy-peasy." You see, Y will have to follow the rules of running laps around the gym. Mama is not in school. Mama doesn't have to follow the rules! We'll see how he likes that when Mama decides to cut across the gym floor and intercept him or Mama turns and runs in the opposite direction and grabs his sorry little butt! Then I'll give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss and a bear hug in front of everyone. The horror!

Natalie

TX

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Sat, February 13, 2010 4:09:39 AM

From:	Natalie Moloney Add to Contacts
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Update

I have to say, I cannot wait until this black cloud that's been hanging over me is way far away. Finances have been extremely tight lately, to the point where I sold half of my silver jewelry last week just to make it till payday, and tomorrow I will try to pawn my wedding and engagement rings so that I can make it till the next payday. Hoping they'll give me $500, and then hoping the interest isn't exorbitant so that I can pay it back in a month.

Y is mad at me because I won't buy him a $20 video game "cheat," and he couldn't understand why I said I don't have the money, when we had to take his dog to the emergency vet last night and that cost me $292.15. On the trip home he said, "You, lie. You tell me you have no money and you pay $292 for Michael today!" I tried to have a discussion about priorities and keeping money around for emergencies, and the fact that I won't be able to pay the electric or cell phone bills on time because of that little injury (a snip of less than an inch clean through his ear lobe that would not stop bleeding for 8 hours and required 6 stitches). Maybe the little brat has learned not to try and sneak through that tiny hole in the fence again! Yeah, the one I can't afford to fix because I need to buy two hundred feet of horse fence and re-do that half of the fence. Yes, horse fence, because a 120lb lab, 64lb pit mix and 48lb boxer mix can literally rip up the goat fence, and knock over the cattle fence. Brats. They're all male, too. (Can you tell I'm PMS'ing it?)

Last Saturday I ran out of gas, because I was worried that the last $30 I had in my pocket would not be enough to buy the food we needed until Monday. After Ford so graciously sent someone with a free gallon of gas, I had to put $10 in the tank just to ensure we got home, bought $15 worth of groceries and kept $5 in my pocket "just in case." Then, on Sunday, someone hit my car while it was unoccupied in the church parking lot. Luckily he is a stand-up guy and stuck around to give me his insurance information so I won't be stuck with a $500 deductible. At least it was a learning session with Y. I brought him outside and showed him what happens when you don't look over your shoulder while backing up your vehicle. Probably gonna cost the poor guy $3000 to fix both cars.

At least we had a good time at K's birthday party! And, we had a great discussion, started by Y, about lots of cool, feel-good type of stuff on the drive over and back. He wanted to know if I was happier the first time he came to visit or the second time. I told him, "The third time." He said this time didn't count and asked his question again. So, I told him I was happier the second time because I knew I would be seeing him again very soon. He said he was happier the second time, too. He said he didn't want to leave the first time. He was very sad then. "Me, too," I told him. He also asked about how we even knew we could host him at all? And he was surprised to know that we did not know all of the other parents prior to hosting him the first time. He thinks that's kind of neat that we got new friends, too. I even told him about the newspaper article that I read in the Tomball Tribune that started this whole process. I should ask them if I can get a copy of that article.

Y also wanted to know if I wanted to adopt more children. That really came out of left field! I told him I would love to have adopted his friend Kolya, and he enthusiastically said, "Yes! He would be good brother!" I seriously wish I had $25k and that Ukraine would allow single parent adoptions again. So, in that light, I told him maybe not Ukraine again (and Y said, "Because no husband?"), but maybe other kids here in the USA some day. He seems okay with that.

Gotta go sign out and go home now.

Natalie
TX

Lovebugs

Look what I found on my side of the bed last night when I wanted to go to sleep:

Goofy, Daisy and Squirt

Of course, this only lasted a few minutes until Daisy decided that even though she is fluffy, she didn't want to be a pillow any more.

Natalie

TX

Samson Cuts His Hair

Magnolia ISD - 1

Y - 0

Push came to shove and the vice-principal told Y last week that he had to get his hair cut or else he would be put in ISS (in-school suspension). Y did ISS earlier in the year for giving a kid a fat lip when he wouldn't leave him alone. So, when I called to talk to him on Thursday afternoon (while I was at work), the first thing Y told me was that he needed a haircut TODAY!!!! Ms T told him that there would be no consequences if he had his hair cut the next morning, but if it was not, then it would be ISS for him on Friday morning. I told Y that he couldn't get his hair cut before Friday afternoon, and he was about to have a heart attack. "Mama, I no can do ISS again! I no like!" I told him I would give him a note to give to his teacher in the morning, stating that his hair would be cut that afternoon so please allow him to attend all classes as normal. He kept insisting that they would put him in ISS, note or no note. Apparently he had been told a week before to get it cut, but he didn't tell me and the school did not inform me either. No communication to me about his hair until a note from his aide on Thursday afternoon. So, I decided that he was stressing out way too much about school the next day. I told Y no school on Friday, and he could get his hair cut after I got home from work.

So I send them thousands of dollars in taxes each year so that I have to buy ALL of Y's school supplies and they can spend their time policing the length of his hair. Puh-lease. These people need to get a life.

Natalie

TX