Evil, Conniving Mama

I was a bad Mama again today. Y told me so. I woke him up at 5:45am and we were in the car on the way to school at 6:05am, because I had to be at work at 7am. If I drop him off at 6:20am, I have just enough time to get to work and not be late. The supes know that I have to drop my son off, and the earliest he can get in the school is 6:15am. We shoot for that, but somehow never seem to make it.

Tuesday I got another phone call from the VPrinciple at Y's school. It seems he decided to slide down the bannister during a fire drill that afternoon, so his aide brought him up to see the VP again. Y doesn't seem to get the concept that the VP shouldn't even recognize you, let alone know your name. Well, Mama knows his name is Mr. H.! Y has been having more problems than sliding down a bannister when specifically told not to do so; he claims he has completed all his homework, but somehow 3+ assignments in ESL, math and science have mysteriously disappeared before he could turn them in to his teachers. He gets good grades on his tests, so he thinks that is all that should matter. He's doing awesome in ESL, when he completes his work. Mr. H. said that Y has learned as much English in one year as most of the other ESL students learn in 5 years. Y told me his ESL homework is "easy-peasy." The only reason he is failing math and science are because of big fat ZERO's on his homework assignments! His test scores are just fine. He even got a 100 on his last math test!!! Maybe he's not being challenged enough there with the modified homework he is being given?

Another problem is his attitude in gym class. He has a personality conflict with his gym teacher. She tells him what to do, and he ignores her and does what he wants to do. She has assigned him several ISS (in-school-suspension) lunches and at least one full day in ISS, and she has docked his grades for non-participation to the point that he's failing gym!!! How do you fail gym!?!

Well, Mr. H. told Y (and me) that if Y could not complete his homework during his study period or at home, then he would be forced to stay after school for after-school-suspension (dare I say, ASS?) and do it in Mr. H's office. Then he would have to ride the activity bus home which means that he would not get home till around 5:30pm. GASP!!! Two whole fewer hours on his computer!!!! I also explained to him that if he failed any of his classes that he would either be held back in 8th grade (not likely due to his age - 15 - and size 5'8"+ and 155+lbs) or the most evil thing in the world would happen to him:

SUMMER SCHOOL.

I was informed that no way, no how was he going to summer school. My response, "Then turn in your homework! That's all that's standing between you and summer school right now!" I think we have that one solved. He really does not want to go to school in the summer, nor does he want to spend one extra minute there on any given day.

So, the only question left is how to solve the gym class dilemma. ISS lunch doesn't work, docking his grade doesn't work... so all I have left is the "Nuclear Option." It seems what Y really hates doing is running. This gym teacher requires the kids to do a few minutes of stretching and about 3 minutes of running as a warmup each day for class. Class is about 45 minutes long with about 15 minutes to change and shower after class. Y tells her almost every day that his legs hurt and he doesn't want to run. I'm sure his legs are very sore, and running isn't the most enjoyable thing, but three minutes shouldn't hurt anyone. Y has grown 5 inches in about 10 months and he's fixin' to go through another growth spurt real soon (two weeks of 12-16 hour "naps" followed by a few weeks of 2-3 dinners each night and constantly "I hungry, Mama!" with several nights of insomnia due to leg pain). So, while I believe the pain is real, I think he can still do a 3 minute jog. It's not like he's highly active when he gets home. He rides his bike, with Michael doing all the pulling a couple of days a week. Sometimes he plays soccer with Mikey in the back yard for 30 minutes, but that's pretty much about it. Last night, I informed Y what the "Nuclear Option" was, and today I emailed his gym teacher - her response was "class is from 10:00 until 10:57am!" come on down - you're the next contestant on 'Embarrass the Foxtrot Out of Your Teenager at School!'

The Nuclear Option:

If I get one more phone call or email from either Mr H or Ms S about Y's behavior I will:

1. Shadow Y in class all day and tell everyone in his class that I am there to make sure Y follows all the rules today and turns his homework in to his teachers because he can't be trusted to do it on his own.

2. Show up for his gym class dressed in shorts, t-shirt and my running shoes. Y will get a 5 second head start, then I will chase him down and when I catch him he will lose his computer privileges for that day.

Y's response, "Maybe they no let you in school, Mama!" I told him it is a public school and all I have to do is sign in at the office and have one of the office aide kids escort me to wherever he is and the embarrassment shall begin immediately. Then Y told me, "You no catch me!" I told him that I've caught his dog, Michael, so catching him should be "easy-peasy." You see, Y will have to follow the rules of running laps around the gym. Mama is not in school. Mama doesn't have to follow the rules! We'll see how he likes that when Mama decides to cut across the gym floor and intercept him or Mama turns and runs in the opposite direction and grabs his sorry little butt! Then I'll give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss and a bear hug in front of everyone. The horror!

Natalie

TX

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Sat, February 13, 2010 4:09:39 AM

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Update

I have to say, I cannot wait until this black cloud that's been hanging over me is way far away. Finances have been extremely tight lately, to the point where I sold half of my silver jewelry last week just to make it till payday, and tomorrow I will try to pawn my wedding and engagement rings so that I can make it till the next payday. Hoping they'll give me $500, and then hoping the interest isn't exorbitant so that I can pay it back in a month.

Y is mad at me because I won't buy him a $20 video game "cheat," and he couldn't understand why I said I don't have the money, when we had to take his dog to the emergency vet last night and that cost me $292.15. On the trip home he said, "You, lie. You tell me you have no money and you pay $292 for Michael today!" I tried to have a discussion about priorities and keeping money around for emergencies, and the fact that I won't be able to pay the electric or cell phone bills on time because of that little injury (a snip of less than an inch clean through his ear lobe that would not stop bleeding for 8 hours and required 6 stitches). Maybe the little brat has learned not to try and sneak through that tiny hole in the fence again! Yeah, the one I can't afford to fix because I need to buy two hundred feet of horse fence and re-do that half of the fence. Yes, horse fence, because a 120lb lab, 64lb pit mix and 48lb boxer mix can literally rip up the goat fence, and knock over the cattle fence. Brats. They're all male, too. (Can you tell I'm PMS'ing it?)

Last Saturday I ran out of gas, because I was worried that the last $30 I had in my pocket would not be enough to buy the food we needed until Monday. After Ford so graciously sent someone with a free gallon of gas, I had to put $10 in the tank just to ensure we got home, bought $15 worth of groceries and kept $5 in my pocket "just in case." Then, on Sunday, someone hit my car while it was unoccupied in the church parking lot. Luckily he is a stand-up guy and stuck around to give me his insurance information so I won't be stuck with a $500 deductible. At least it was a learning session with Y. I brought him outside and showed him what happens when you don't look over your shoulder while backing up your vehicle. Probably gonna cost the poor guy $3000 to fix both cars.

At least we had a good time at K's birthday party! And, we had a great discussion, started by Y, about lots of cool, feel-good type of stuff on the drive over and back. He wanted to know if I was happier the first time he came to visit or the second time. I told him, "The third time." He said this time didn't count and asked his question again. So, I told him I was happier the second time because I knew I would be seeing him again very soon. He said he was happier the second time, too. He said he didn't want to leave the first time. He was very sad then. "Me, too," I told him. He also asked about how we even knew we could host him at all? And he was surprised to know that we did not know all of the other parents prior to hosting him the first time. He thinks that's kind of neat that we got new friends, too. I even told him about the newspaper article that I read in the Tomball Tribune that started this whole process. I should ask them if I can get a copy of that article.

Y also wanted to know if I wanted to adopt more children. That really came out of left field! I told him I would love to have adopted his friend Kolya, and he enthusiastically said, "Yes! He would be good brother!" I seriously wish I had $25k and that Ukraine would allow single parent adoptions again. So, in that light, I told him maybe not Ukraine again (and Y said, "Because no husband?"), but maybe other kids here in the USA some day. He seems okay with that.

Gotta go sign out and go home now.

Natalie
TX

Lovebugs

Look what I found on my side of the bed last night when I wanted to go to sleep:

Goofy, Daisy and Squirt

Of course, this only lasted a few minutes until Daisy decided that even though she is fluffy, she didn't want to be a pillow any more.

Natalie

TX

Samson Cuts His Hair

Magnolia ISD - 1

Y - 0

Push came to shove and the vice-principal told Y last week that he had to get his hair cut or else he would be put in ISS (in-school suspension). Y did ISS earlier in the year for giving a kid a fat lip when he wouldn't leave him alone. So, when I called to talk to him on Thursday afternoon (while I was at work), the first thing Y told me was that he needed a haircut TODAY!!!! Ms T told him that there would be no consequences if he had his hair cut the next morning, but if it was not, then it would be ISS for him on Friday morning. I told Y that he couldn't get his hair cut before Friday afternoon, and he was about to have a heart attack. "Mama, I no can do ISS again! I no like!" I told him I would give him a note to give to his teacher in the morning, stating that his hair would be cut that afternoon so please allow him to attend all classes as normal. He kept insisting that they would put him in ISS, note or no note. Apparently he had been told a week before to get it cut, but he didn't tell me and the school did not inform me either. No communication to me about his hair until a note from his aide on Thursday afternoon. So, I decided that he was stressing out way too much about school the next day. I told Y no school on Friday, and he could get his hair cut after I got home from work.

So I send them thousands of dollars in taxes each year so that I have to buy ALL of Y's school supplies and they can spend their time policing the length of his hair. Puh-lease. These people need to get a life.

Natalie

TX

A Rumble in the Backyard

The other day, Y's computer zonked again. Completely. Like, needing the rescue disks completely. Shouldn't be a problem, except I couldn't find the third rescue disk (which may have been thrown out in the trash by accident) and the computer was set to RAID mode, and it's only got one hard drive. So, off to Fry's I went with that computer and his previous computer. Fry's got the new computer out of RAID mode for free, and they're fixing the other one for $100. The technician, Yuri (yes, he still speaks Russian), told me to take it home and use the rescue disks myself to save me some money. Alas, number three is somewhere in this great cosmos, but I have not a clue as to where that is. So, I got online on my computer and emailed HP; they sent me back a phone number and the new rescue disks will be here on Friday.

When I called home to tell Y that he would have to deal with my computer until the weekend, he was like, "Mama! Why no here tomorrow?!" Then he told me the dogs were very bad and handed the phone to the babysitter. She proceeded to tell me that Goofy and Michael got into it in the backyard just 30 minutes before I called. She heard them screaming out there, and she and Y ran out into the yard. They saw Goofy (120lb lab) dragging Michael (48lb boxer mix) limply around the yard by his collar. D (the babysitter) said Goofy would not release, so she had to get a two by four laying in the yard and wedge it between their heads. Goofy tried to release Michael, but he couldn't because his lower jaw was twisted into Michael's collar. Y was screaming that his dog was dead, and D was getting excited and nervous, so I'm sure that didn't help calm the situation. D got them apart and Michael tried to lunge at Goofy (believing in his little doggie brain that Goofy had choked him on purpose). Y took Michael and Squirt inside, and D checked Goofy over. She was surprised to see nothing but dog slobber, however she did leave him outside for a few hours after that. D told me that Squirt (63lb pit mix) was just sitting calmly on the other side of the yard watching everything going on. Y insisted that Michael was hurt, but other than being a little dazed from not getting enough breath for a couple of minutes, he too only had dog slobber on him. D said Michael was quiet for quite a while afterwards (way not normal), so Y took him up to his room to sleep.

Goofy stayed outside until D left at midnight, when she put him in the big cage in the living room. Squirt slept in my bedroom till I got home at 12:30am. Only 30 minutes in the cage, and poor Goofy couldn't walk very well when he got out. He has hip dysplasia. I told D not to put him in the cage again, he's really too big for it anyway; next time just lock him inside the den. I put Goofy outside and went upstairs to check on Michael. Y was out like a light, and Michael was ecstatic to get out of his room. Mikey was just fine, in fact he and Goofy kissed and made up just minutes later; and they were back to being best all-time buddies. Y was still very nervous about the whole thing the next morning when I took him to school. So, I called B and asked if Goofy could stay the night with him. His first visitation with "Daddy!" Goofy was very excited to go for a car ride, and he even took his doggie bed with him.

Early Thursday morning I got a phone call from B. It only took Goofy 18 hours to destroy the other house. No, he didn't tear up the furniture, eat walls, or poo on the carpet. Goofy saw something out the back window. B was asleep, so Goofy decided to make his own doggie door. Right through the glass in the back picture window. Luckily he came away almost completely unscathed. He has about three scratches and that's it. The window is a little worse for the wear as it now has a Goofy-sized hole in it. I guess he was jumping up and pawing at the window and it broke. I have no idea how many G's a 120lb dog can produce when jumping, but he can probably move small mountains. Needless to say, I picked Goofy up from B's house later that afternoon. I feel like I took one of my babies to daycare and they called for me to come get him because he was misbehaving! Don't know if B still wants to dog-share after this. Y said that "maybe Goofy no like B's house."

Natalie
TX

The Topic of Conversation

Apparently "my girls" were the topic of conversation this week at work. Several people asked me if the story of a coworker staring half the night was true. These people need to get a life! Can't wait to see that coworker again and ask him if he saw "the girls" I brought to the party last weekend. That should shut him up for a while!

Other than that, it finally warmed up to a regular Houston winter temperature (50's), so the puppies (the actual canine kind) have been enjoying lots of time outdoors. It seems that 4 hours in the back yard protecting us from errant squirrels and deer is quite exhausting. No one has attempted escape in the past few days, and no one has made a mess in the house, either. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, if you know what I mean. No real chasing of the kitties. Makes me wonder if my doggies are feeling okay? Y even took them for a walk the past two days. Maybe that's what's made the difference.

I'm down 9.5lbs now, another 1.5 inches gone in the waist, 1 inch in the hips and 2.5 inches in the bust. That just flabbergasts me. Losing inches up there. I didn't think that was possible. Might even have to go buy new bras!

Enjoy your day.

Natalie

TX