We had a little incident at school earlier this week. It seems one of the boys on Y's bus has been harrassing him. Y has not said a peep to us about it. Not even in Russian. It seems from my observations that the kids in the internat learned to solve problems without involving the adults. Maybe the adults never did anything about teasing, etc, I don't know.
Y only rides the bus home in the afternoons. We drop him off in the morning because the bus comes by fifteen minutes before we need to wake him up for school! Well, apparently last Friday afternoon Y was listening to some Russian music on his recorder and singing along. This other boy took offense and yelled at him to speak English. Apparently this was bad enough that the other boy held a grudge over a three day holiday weekend, and early Tuesday morning he spit on Y. Y spit back. So, they punished both boys - Y got 'lunch detention' and the other boy got a 3 day in-school suspension. Luckily there were only three days of school left.
We got a phone call from the school that morning, and an email from Y's teacher later that afternoon. His teacher wanted to make sure that no retaliation went on during the bus ride home. Bill asked Y about it and said the best he could understand was that this had been going on for some time. No wonder he's in a bad mood some days when he gets off the bus. My questions are: Why did they even let this other boy ride the bus home at all? Why not tell his parents that his bus riding privileges have been suspended for the remainder of the year? Why even give him a chance to retaliate?
I'm also upset with the bus driver who appears to have done nothing to help the situation. Back in my day, they would pull the bus over, put it in park and tell the misbehaving child to behave or else they would be put off the bus immediately (once other transportation arrived).
Y's teacher did say that both the boy and his parents had been advised that if this behavior occurred again, there would be harsher punishment. Technically, the spitting meets the definition of assault. Bill said if the kid does it again, he will call the sheriff and see how the school likes that.
The school has not provided the name of the child or contact information for his parents. I believe this should be given to us, just for our records. That way if this boy is also in the 7th grade and rides the bus with Y next year we have proof that bad behavior has continued from year to year.
My opinion is when a child acts bigoted or racist it comes straight from the parents. Bigotry is not encoded in your DNA, it is learned!
I just hope that because Y was punished, too, it will not prevent him from coming to us with his problems in the future.
Natalie
TX
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Dynamo-mite!
Saturday was a pretty good day, considering that I had to get up at 4am for a 5:30am shift. After work, I took Y to the store to buy shirts for the Dynamo game we attended that evening. The Dynamo are our local MLS soccer team (champs 2006 & 2007). Y wanted nothing to do with buying their shirts, but I bought one for myself and one for Bill. Y wanted an Oakland Raiders shirt. Football Americanski? What?!! It seems he likes their logo. I didn't have the heart to tell him the team hasn't been very good in recent years. It'll do him good to cheer for the underdog. Unless they're playing the Steelers. Then it's war.
He even wanted a football Americanski, too. They have been practicing throwing footballs at school during phys ed and it seems my son is not very good. You know how it is for boys at Jr High, if you can't throw a football, doesn't matter what else you can do. So, he practiced a bit with me in the driveway. That was, until he found out I can't throw a spiral worth a darn either. Then he took Goofy out in the back yard. I could not emphasize to him enough that Goofy must never touch the ball, or it would be no more for this Earth! A 115lb yellow lab vs. a measly little $14 football. Not much of a match. Y kept telling me it would be okay, until I told him that Nala (our dear departed Nala Bear) ate not one, but TWO footballs when she was Goofy's age. The first one she ate within an hour of the kids unwrapping it at Christmas. All it takes is one canine to puncture that pigskin, and that's all she wrote. He did very well, and was quite careful of Goofy catching the ball. That did not stop either one of them running around and playing chase for over half an hour. I'm not sure if Y was playing a running back or a wide receiver, but he had no problem jumping over Goofy and outmaneuvering him.
Then, we went to the Dynamo game. Y wasn't too keen on the idea until we got there and he saw some cool moves from the players. I'm not saying they were World Cup worthy, but they were very good and we left happy campers with a 3-1 win over the San Jose Earthquakes.
That night, Y said, "Today little bit good." I'll take it.
Natalie
TX
He even wanted a football Americanski, too. They have been practicing throwing footballs at school during phys ed and it seems my son is not very good. You know how it is for boys at Jr High, if you can't throw a football, doesn't matter what else you can do. So, he practiced a bit with me in the driveway. That was, until he found out I can't throw a spiral worth a darn either. Then he took Goofy out in the back yard. I could not emphasize to him enough that Goofy must never touch the ball, or it would be no more for this Earth! A 115lb yellow lab vs. a measly little $14 football. Not much of a match. Y kept telling me it would be okay, until I told him that Nala (our dear departed Nala Bear) ate not one, but TWO footballs when she was Goofy's age. The first one she ate within an hour of the kids unwrapping it at Christmas. All it takes is one canine to puncture that pigskin, and that's all she wrote. He did very well, and was quite careful of Goofy catching the ball. That did not stop either one of them running around and playing chase for over half an hour. I'm not sure if Y was playing a running back or a wide receiver, but he had no problem jumping over Goofy and outmaneuvering him.
Then, we went to the Dynamo game. Y wasn't too keen on the idea until we got there and he saw some cool moves from the players. I'm not saying they were World Cup worthy, but they were very good and we left happy campers with a 3-1 win over the San Jose Earthquakes.
That night, Y said, "Today little bit good." I'll take it.
Natalie
TX
Friday, May 22, 2009
Пока!
Bye, bye!
That's what mama deer and Bambi said the other day. One morning they were just gone. Off to a safer nesting place, I'm sure.
We'll miss them, but Y sure is glad to be able to jump on his trampoline again! And, I'll be happy when Bill cuts the grass. It's growing like a weed down here.
Natalie
TX
That's what mama deer and Bambi said the other day. One morning they were just gone. Off to a safer nesting place, I'm sure.
We'll miss them, but Y sure is glad to be able to jump on his trampoline again! And, I'll be happy when Bill cuts the grass. It's growing like a weed down here.
Natalie
TX
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Our Newest Family Addition
Well, it seems we've added a new addition to the family. Bambi was born sometime late Friday night or early Saturday morning about 20 feet from our garage. She is about the size of our biggest cat, and she sleeps all day, too. She's cute as a button with all her little white spots; I'll post the videos that Y and I took as soon as I get them downloaded from the camera. Yarek is still working on not shaking the camera while he takes videos. Hope y'all don't get sick watching his version.
We've already called the game warden twice about Bambi. It seems it is natural for the mother to abandon the fawn for up to two days after birth. Bambi's mom came back late Sunday afternoon, but Y accidentally scared her away when he went to jump on his trampoline. But, mom was persistent and she came back later that night to feed the baby. Mom seems to be staying about 30 feet away, trying not to bring too much attention to her baby. The game warden said that they will most likely stay there till the end of the week. By that time Bambi should be strong enough for mama to move her farther into the woods and away from the house.
Yarek has been excited to check on this new addition every day. He gives us updates not long after getting home from school. Needless to say, we cannot allow the puppies to wander the property aimlessly, less they disturb Bambi or worse - get in between Bambi and her mama. They do get to go out in their backyard area since that is fenced off and well clear of the fawn's location. Who knows, maybe mama is even the same deer that Squirt chased from the yard last week.
Things have been going a little bit better with Y lately. Our therapist says we should be happy that he is willing to show us his rear end so soon in our relationship. This means he is secure enough to show his bad side, and that he doesn't feel the need to be perfect. At least his pouting sessions are getting shorter, if not fewer. His English is getting much better; our biggest problem is that he is more than willing to use English in settings where Mama and Papa are not around, but at home he wants to use exclusively Russian. I had to throw the B.S. flag on that one this weekend. I went to www.rustran.com and told him that we knew that he understands us (when we say certain things), and that he could no longer use, "No English!" with us. He mostly does this when he doesn't want to do what we tell him (ie - clean his room, wait a few more minutes until supper is ready to eat, take out the trash, and other chores he has been doing since day one).
I also told him that he needed to practice more English on the computer or read a book to one of us every night. He said he doesn't like to read, so he'd rather do English on the computer, but not Rosetta Stone. All of the other programs I have found, which are free, cannot stack up to Rosetta Stone's ability to quickly teach a language. I used it for Russian and it helped tremendously. But, I'm not a 14yr old boy who sees it as punishment, instead of as a way to help him accelerate his language pronunciation, etc. So, I told him he would have to use R S if he did not speak more English at home. Low and behold, the next day he began asking questions in English and saying, "Mama, come here!" instead of "ee-dee soo-dah." This was quickly rewarded with a new video game. Wolverine is now saving the world every afternoon. If he continues to progress like this, maybe we'll get him a new video game every month or two, or an ipod or something.
Gotta go home and get some sleep.
Natalie
TX
We've already called the game warden twice about Bambi. It seems it is natural for the mother to abandon the fawn for up to two days after birth. Bambi's mom came back late Sunday afternoon, but Y accidentally scared her away when he went to jump on his trampoline. But, mom was persistent and she came back later that night to feed the baby. Mom seems to be staying about 30 feet away, trying not to bring too much attention to her baby. The game warden said that they will most likely stay there till the end of the week. By that time Bambi should be strong enough for mama to move her farther into the woods and away from the house.
Yarek has been excited to check on this new addition every day. He gives us updates not long after getting home from school. Needless to say, we cannot allow the puppies to wander the property aimlessly, less they disturb Bambi or worse - get in between Bambi and her mama. They do get to go out in their backyard area since that is fenced off and well clear of the fawn's location. Who knows, maybe mama is even the same deer that Squirt chased from the yard last week.
Things have been going a little bit better with Y lately. Our therapist says we should be happy that he is willing to show us his rear end so soon in our relationship. This means he is secure enough to show his bad side, and that he doesn't feel the need to be perfect. At least his pouting sessions are getting shorter, if not fewer. His English is getting much better; our biggest problem is that he is more than willing to use English in settings where Mama and Papa are not around, but at home he wants to use exclusively Russian. I had to throw the B.S. flag on that one this weekend. I went to www.rustran.com and told him that we knew that he understands us (when we say certain things), and that he could no longer use, "No English!" with us. He mostly does this when he doesn't want to do what we tell him (ie - clean his room, wait a few more minutes until supper is ready to eat, take out the trash, and other chores he has been doing since day one).
I also told him that he needed to practice more English on the computer or read a book to one of us every night. He said he doesn't like to read, so he'd rather do English on the computer, but not Rosetta Stone. All of the other programs I have found, which are free, cannot stack up to Rosetta Stone's ability to quickly teach a language. I used it for Russian and it helped tremendously. But, I'm not a 14yr old boy who sees it as punishment, instead of as a way to help him accelerate his language pronunciation, etc. So, I told him he would have to use R S if he did not speak more English at home. Low and behold, the next day he began asking questions in English and saying, "Mama, come here!" instead of "ee-dee soo-dah." This was quickly rewarded with a new video game. Wolverine is now saving the world every afternoon. If he continues to progress like this, maybe we'll get him a new video game every month or two, or an ipod or something.
Gotta go home and get some sleep.
Natalie
TX
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Mama's Day not all it's cracked up to be
Let's just say, my Mother's Day was far from perfect. It started out fine as I said in an earlier post, but after church it got kind of ugly. Apparently Y and Bill were having communication problems again (Y pretending he did not know what Bill was saying and then doing whatever he darn well pleased - but only when I wasn't around). It all came to a head when I decided to take a 2 hour nap after church. I was exhausted, and this would be the last two day weekend I had for the foreseeable future. I don't expect another two days off in a row until after Labor Day. Maybe. (Okay, not counting the 7 days I have off in early June for 'vacation' time.) Bill says he had told Y to clean his room every day for a week, and Y would just say, "No English!" and then go play video games, watch TV or jump on the trampoline. He also eats whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He has eaten as many as 8 bananas in a day. Around 3pm Y told Bill he was hungry (of course, he hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast - I had asked Bill to get him lunch before I went to nap, but Bill says I did not). Bill said dinner would be ready soon, just wait. So, Y went and grabbed two bananas and ate them. Forty five minutes later, when dinner was ready, Y said he wasn't hungry any more, and he didn't want to eat that anyway. Bill, came charging upstairs, screaming at me, "Are you gonna sleep all day?! You do this all the time!!" (I hadn't taken a nap in over a month, but apparently that qualifies as 'all the time.')
Then it became my fault that Bill could not get Y to listen to him. I asked Bill if he stood in the doorway to Y's bedroom and directed him as he cleaned his room. He said, no, because Y is old enough to do that himself. I had to remind him that although Y is 14 on the outside, he is only about 8 - 10 on the inside. All Bill needed to do was stand there for 10 minutes and ensure Y cleaned his room, instead of assuming he did and then getting mad.
When I came downstairs and went in the kitchen, I noticed that there was only one banana left (I had bought at least 12 the evening before), I lost it. (That and PMS didn't help, either.) Money has been very short since I returned from Ukraine, and spending an extra $200+ a week on groceries has been a huge strain. I told Bill that maybe if he actually came out of his office and interacted with Y once in a while, Y would not be looking to food to comfort him. My schedule at work is such that I am unable to be home 2-3 weeknights, and I have to work Saturday mornings and Sunday morning overtime shifts. I realize this is not the best for Y right now, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. SO DON'T BOTHER WITH THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS!!! We need the night pay and overtime pay to catch up with our bills for the next few months. This adoption ended up costing about $5k more than we expected, so our entire overflow fund was used.
Bill overreacted to my concern, I was just venting. So, Bill stormed out of the house, went to Home Depot and bought a lock for the pantry door. I told him repeatedly not to do it, we could find another solution. But, he insisted. We had a therapy session the next day, and the therapist agreed with me and told Bill to remove the lock immediately, which he did. Bill said his parents put a lock on their pantry door when he and his sisters were teenagers; if it worked for them, it'd work for us.
Unfortunately, Y got the message. He now insists he is full after very small portions of dinner, and he hasn't eaten but three bananas in three days. Of course, he still ate all the chips, a bag of gummy bears and a bag of M&Ms. I think we're gonna post a note for him that he can eat whatever is in a certain cabinet, the fridge or on the counter from 3:30 until 5pm and then again from 7:30 until 8:30pm (he goes to bed at 9pm). That way he can still eat snacks, but he won't be too full to eat dinner. Maybe we'll even give him alternatives to make himself to eat if he doesn't like dinner. We found out he won't even try Chinese food.
Plus, he has been eating two lunches at school, or ordering everything a la carte which is costing a small fortune. I had to go to the cafeteria to find out how $60 could get spent in just over two weeks. I asked how to prevent this in the future, and they said they would take his ability to buy a la carte things away. This means he cannot buy a soda or iced tea either. He has to drink milk or go to the water fountain. Unfortunately this is what we have to do. We told him when he first entered school that he could eat the school lunch and buy a drink only, but of course, he quickly figured out that we wouldn't know that he bought two lunches or Chick Fil-A three times a week.
Gotta go home now and get some sleep before my day shift tomorrow.
Also working on chore charts for everyone. Wait till Bill finds out what I think his chores should be!
Natalie
TX
Then it became my fault that Bill could not get Y to listen to him. I asked Bill if he stood in the doorway to Y's bedroom and directed him as he cleaned his room. He said, no, because Y is old enough to do that himself. I had to remind him that although Y is 14 on the outside, he is only about 8 - 10 on the inside. All Bill needed to do was stand there for 10 minutes and ensure Y cleaned his room, instead of assuming he did and then getting mad.
When I came downstairs and went in the kitchen, I noticed that there was only one banana left (I had bought at least 12 the evening before), I lost it. (That and PMS didn't help, either.) Money has been very short since I returned from Ukraine, and spending an extra $200+ a week on groceries has been a huge strain. I told Bill that maybe if he actually came out of his office and interacted with Y once in a while, Y would not be looking to food to comfort him. My schedule at work is such that I am unable to be home 2-3 weeknights, and I have to work Saturday mornings and Sunday morning overtime shifts. I realize this is not the best for Y right now, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. SO DON'T BOTHER WITH THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS!!! We need the night pay and overtime pay to catch up with our bills for the next few months. This adoption ended up costing about $5k more than we expected, so our entire overflow fund was used.
Bill overreacted to my concern, I was just venting. So, Bill stormed out of the house, went to Home Depot and bought a lock for the pantry door. I told him repeatedly not to do it, we could find another solution. But, he insisted. We had a therapy session the next day, and the therapist agreed with me and told Bill to remove the lock immediately, which he did. Bill said his parents put a lock on their pantry door when he and his sisters were teenagers; if it worked for them, it'd work for us.
Unfortunately, Y got the message. He now insists he is full after very small portions of dinner, and he hasn't eaten but three bananas in three days. Of course, he still ate all the chips, a bag of gummy bears and a bag of M&Ms. I think we're gonna post a note for him that he can eat whatever is in a certain cabinet, the fridge or on the counter from 3:30 until 5pm and then again from 7:30 until 8:30pm (he goes to bed at 9pm). That way he can still eat snacks, but he won't be too full to eat dinner. Maybe we'll even give him alternatives to make himself to eat if he doesn't like dinner. We found out he won't even try Chinese food.
Plus, he has been eating two lunches at school, or ordering everything a la carte which is costing a small fortune. I had to go to the cafeteria to find out how $60 could get spent in just over two weeks. I asked how to prevent this in the future, and they said they would take his ability to buy a la carte things away. This means he cannot buy a soda or iced tea either. He has to drink milk or go to the water fountain. Unfortunately this is what we have to do. We told him when he first entered school that he could eat the school lunch and buy a drink only, but of course, he quickly figured out that we wouldn't know that he bought two lunches or Chick Fil-A three times a week.
Gotta go home now and get some sleep before my day shift tomorrow.
Also working on chore charts for everyone. Wait till Bill finds out what I think his chores should be!
Natalie
TX
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