There Ain't No "Five more minutes, Mama!" in Homeschool

Well, had the meeting with the school district on Monday afternoon. Took our family therapist with me because she's a bit of a pit bull. Glad I did because I needed the moral support. The school vice principal and a couple of the teachers took offense when we told them that they did not do everything they were supposed to do. The school has NEVER tested Y in English or in Russian, as they are required by state law to do. Lo and behold, they never found out that his reading comprehension is at a kindergarten level and his math is at a fifth grade level; and they had him reading 8th grade science books and in pre-algebra! Setting him up to fail is what they were doing. They kept telling me that he could either be classified as ESL or special ed, and not both. I told them that I agreed his IQ level disqualifies him from special ed, but that his ability to perform the work should clue them in that he needs a lot of extra help! "Well, but he can't be classified as both ESL and special ed." And we went round and round like that for several minutes.

Every one of his teachers informed me that Y was a constant disruption in class (hello! - he can't keep up with the reading/math and he's amusing himself), and that if they wrote him up for every discipline problem, then he'd be in the vice-Principal's office every day. I told every one of them that the very first person to advise me that Y was having disciplinary problems was the vice-principal! Not a single teacher ever emailed or called me to nip it in the bud. Every single one of them let him get away with "minor" infractions until they became major. They also administered the exact same consequence every time: ISS lunch. Big deal. By that time he had learned to work the system. Y worked the whole year on the system that Mama would never know if he was bad at school, so why behave? And, each one of his teachers fed into that problem. Of course, they didn't want to take any responsibility for it. Funny thing about responsibility - nobody ever seems to want to take any, just give it way to everyone else.

One teacher who tutored Y last summer (I learned that day, that she did it for FREE), agreed somewhat with me and our therapist. She said Y did not know his alphabet or how to read at all when she got him last June; and by the end of the summer he knew his alphabet and could read at a kindergarten level. This teacher asked the others just exactly what they'd been doing with him all year, because although his vocabulary had grown and his pronunciation is pretty good now, but his reading comprehension has not improved at all in 7 months. Exactly my question! But, she kept insisting that the school had done all it could and more, so, "Someone else has to step up to the plate and take some responsibility!" That statement made my blood boil, and I immediately replied that she had no idea what our home life was like last summer. I informed her that I was a single parent for the last six months and that I had no one else to help me, except a babysitter whose forte is not math or science by any stretch of the imagination. I asked the VP if he remembered that I told him several times that I worked three night shifts each week. He said he did. Then several of the teachers asked why, even if I was tired after work, could I not go over his homework with him when I got home from working the night shift? I was astounded - don't these TEACHERS know what the word "night" means? The looks on their faces when I asked them if they wanted me to wake him up at midnight or 1am so that we could do schoolwork "when I get home from work," was priceless. Apparently to them, working at night means you get home by 8pm, not 10pm or 1am or 7am!

I then asked how I was supposed to force him to bring his homework home with him? Most days he didn't bring anything home from school. And, I have no access to his work unless he does bring it home. Then I told them that when I was informed he was not turning in his homework, I did go through his binder looking for it. When Y saw me doing that, he started raging. I was then interrupted by a few of his teachers who told me that they had teenagers, and their kids didn't like them going through their things, but they did it anyway. I asked these teachers did they understand the difference between the meaning of 'dislike' and the meaning of 'rage'? They didn't quite get it, even when our therapist explained that I actually meant 'RAGING' when I said it, and not mere anger. She also explained that my son did not have a concept of family life before he came here, nor did he have personal possessions, therefore he was overcompensating now and considers everything his possession and "none of your business!" They still didn't get it, even when I told them that such a personal possession as your own hair was violated by the school district, so he gave up any pretense of behaving and doing his work when they made him cut it. "Oh, puh-lease!" was their response.

Then we cut to the chase - what was/is the school district's plan for Y? The first words out of the VP's mouth were, "How old is he?" I said, "Almost 15 and a half, why?" And the VP said they would just re-enroll him in the 8th grade next year.

That's it.

That's the sum total of their plan, in a nutshell, and there'll be room left over. Y could attend summer school, at my expense, and they also expect me to have him privately tutored for at least two years at my expense. I asked them what made them think that he would be able to perform at an 8th grade level in four months as opposed to now? They are just setting him up to fail again. I also told the VP that I was not comfortable putting my 16 yr old son in a school with 12 year olds, I would rather have him moved up to the high school and put in special education classes. He said the school would not be willing to do that.

So, I told them my plan - homeschool, where I could do it on my schedule and I could still provide the private tutoring for him, but I would not be restricted to after-school hours, and I would not be exclusively reliant on others to provide Y's transportation to and from it. As an added bonus, I don't have to get up at 6:30am after arriving home at 1:00am the night before.

The only thing the school agreed to do (at their expense) was to give Y the testing that they should've done a year ago! This will be accomplished by August, and then we'll re-evaluate homeschooling at that point.

Last Monday evening, I took Y to the "fishbowl" at the high school where they tell all the incoming freshman what to expect, what classes to take and what activities/clubs are available. We found two really good activities for him: Interact Club and JROTC. Interact does community service projects on an international scale and JROTC is JROTC. Y was not interested in that until they told him he could do rifle drills and other cool stuff. When the instructor told the kids that the group was student led, but that none of the freshmen would be in charge of anything, Y leaned over to me and said, "Mama, no one in charge of me!" Oh boy, does he need JROTC! I sure hope the school district will let him participate even though he's being homeschooled.

Tuesday morning was our first day of homeschooling, hence the title of this post. At 10am I woke Y up and he replied, "Five more minutes, Mama, please." I told him there was no five more minutes in homeschooling, get your butt up, you have four puppies to tire out! (Yes, Michael is back from doggie school - and he's had a largely successful personality transplant.) We began with 1 hour and 15 minutes of bicycling and walking the legs off of four large dogs. Y complained the last twenty minutes or so, but I told him "too bad!" Next was breakfast and a couple of hours of "science" where he watched two episodes of the Discovery Channel's series, "Life." Then he told me about what he watched, and then it was time for me to go to work. I told Y that very soon he would have to do more than just tell me about what he was watching, he would have to write a few sentences about the program, too. "Maybe, Mama."

That evening, my babysitter picked him up and took him to Sylvan for two hours of tutoring, and he gave her no problems. Wednesday was much the same, gym followed by science and Mama going to work. Y told me that he was tired when I left, but when the babysitter got there he told her he was too sick to go to Sylvan, and refused to go. She was in a panic when she called me, but I assured her that the only person who would suffer a consequence for Y not going to tutoring was Y. When I got home I told him that if he was "sick" again, D would test his temperature. If he had a fever he could stay home. No fever, get his ass in the car and quit his bitching. If he failed to do so, he would lose his computer for TWO days. Gasp! Say it ain't so. Y promised not to do it again. Yeah, right.

Long post, will post more later.

Natalie

TX