More Tidbits

Tidbit #1 -

Y told me he was a man yesterday.  His reasoning is that he has hair on his calves, therefore he is a man.  Does that make me a man, too, if I don't shave?  I told him to come back when he had wide shoulders and hair on his chest.  He told me he's Russian, and Russian's do not have hairy chests, Germans do.

Tidbit #2 -

Finally found out where all those bananas (and everything else Y eats) have been going.  The doctor measured him the first week he was home, and he was 5'3" and about 130lbs.  I have no idea what he weighs right now, but I measured Y again yesterday and he's almost 5'7"!!!  Over 3" in three and a half months!

Tidbit #3 - 

Y told me he had a bad dream the other night.  I asked him if he remembered what it was about.  He said he was back in Ukraine and he had to escape to America.  I told him I used to have a similar dream when I was a teenager; I called it the "Escape from Sharpsburg!" dream.

Natalie

TX

A "Family" Room

Sunday night we finally got the rest of the flooring down in our newly expanded family room.  That evening we had a little family bonding time watching TV.  Y even came downstairs before his computer shut off for the evening!  Well, apparently he did not forget last week when I told him the "vampire" show comes on TV once a week.  He heard the first few notes of the opening song, and he flew downstairs.  We told him we had to wait until the show was completely recorded before we could watch it.  A little white lie, but at least we would be able to skip over any potentially unwanted scenes.  As it turns out, we only skipped about 30 seconds of the show.  

While we waited for it to record, we decided to watch a couple of "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" episodes.  Y stayed with us, and kept asking questions like, do we like his music?  YES!  Is that Mama, Papa, son and daughter?  Yes, etc.  The first episode was kind of boring, but the second episode was very good.  Gene's 16yr old daughter was having a sleep over with friends.  Mama was sick, so Gene was in charge of making sure the girls did not get out of the house, the boys did not get into the house, and nothing got broken.  Well nothing got broken.  Let's just say that Gene Simmons seems to be a pretty good dad, he knows when to let things slide and when to not let them slide.  At the end, Y said, "He is good papa."  When I said, "Yes, he is,"  Y turned to look at Bill and said, "You no good Papa."

Bill's response was, "What?"

Y - "Oh, I joke!  You little bit good Papa."

Then we watched 'True Blood,' and when it was over, Y said, "Goodnight, I sleep now," and went up to bed without being told.  I looked at Bill and his jaw was hanging closer to the floor than mine.  I can't remember the last time Y did not give us any grief over his bed time.  

Little victories, little victories.

Natalie

TX

Tidbits

Tidbit #1-

Yesterday Y showed me how he had changed his video game instructions to Russian.  He has been playing against others online and figured out how to get on a European server with Russian speaking kids.  So he asked, and was told how to do this by one of them.  They then asked Y where he was from.  His reply?

"Texas."

They did not believe him.  I wonder why?

Tidbit #2 -

Y has been going to reading class at the jr high several days a week for two hours a day.  They have been working on reading and writing English.  Apparently they talked about money the other day.  Y proudly informed his teacher that there was "money" in our last name.  Technically it's true, take out a few letters and there's 'm-o-n-e-y' in our name.  I've used this last name for 12 yrs, and I've never thought of it that way.  I want to know where all this 'money' is, and where it's been hiding.

Natalie

TX

Papa's Day

I have decided that maybe I just need to take a vacation from my two men whenever a family holiday comes up.  They really seem to get on each others' nerves then for some reason.  Y does/does not do something; Bill overreacts and it escalates from there.

Today we were going to try and finish the laminate floor in our newly expanded living room.  There was only a 10x15  area left to do (the rest has been done for two years!).  We all slept in, and started on the floor just after 11am.  Bill asked Y to sweep the floor, again.  Y did as he was asked, but Bill did not like the way he was doing it.  He was pulling with a push broom, and that was getting under Bill's skin.  He has very thin skin.  Then, he showed Y how to scrape stuff off the concrete with a long handled scraper.  Y did that, too.  After that, Y swept the floor again, but Bill wanted him to vacuum it up with the shop vac.  He kept telling Y to stop sweeping, and vacuum.  And, Y said the magic phrase, "I no understand."

Bill started yelling at him, threw the handle of the shop vac on the floor, and then told me he was leaving for a little bit.  Bill is of the impression that Y only says he doesn't understand whenever he doesn't want to do what he is asked to do.  In this case, Bill was wrong.  He's been wrong before, but you can't tell Bill that.  Y thought Bill wanted him to use the vacuum cleaner, and he couldn't understand that the shop vac was also a vacuum cleaner, of sorts.  I ended up showing Y what to do, and he finished the job without Bill here.

Today being Sunday, I asked Y if he wanted to go to ping pong today.  Initially he said no, but then he remembered that today was a "no computer" day, so he decided to go.  I told Y on the way down there that we had signed him up for soccer camp beginning this Tuesday evening.  He repeated that he did not like soccer.  I told him that if he attended all of the soccer camps, we would sign him up for computer camp next month at the local community college.  He thought about that for a few minutes, and then said, "Okay, maybe."  He did reiterate that he really wanted to stay home this summer.  I think he is ready for a little more normalcy, and not a trip every other month or so.  Poor thing, there is no such thing as normalcy in our family!

As we left ping pong three hours later, he asked if we could go to the sport store so that he could buy a new, better racket for ping pong.  He wanted to use the $20 he had left from his demolition payment.  So, off to Academy we went.  While we were there, I told him he needed shin guards and socks for soccer camp.  He kept telling me he did not need them to play soccer.  I told him, maybe you didn't need them in Ukraine, but in America you do need them.  He agreed to the shin guards and socks if I would buy him a pair of cleats and a simple sling thingy to practice kicking without chasing the ball every second.  Y was able to keep his $20 for a little longer, as the ping pong rackets there were not up to his discerning standards.  It seems they don't have enough padding on them.  I have been instructed to look for one online.  He's the baron, just ask him.  He did end up paying me $1 for a piece of candy, after we got home.  He really wanted it, so I told him he had to pay for it.  He did not have his money with him, so I told him to give it to me when we got home.  As soon as we returned, I asked for my dollar.  Y told me he was just joking.  I told him, I was not, and please give me my dollar.  He did.  Lesson learned, I hope.

Then, he asked to take Goofy swimming in the pond; and since it's so hot, Mama, can you drive us there, please?  Only on 100 degree days will I drive him the quarter mile to the pond.  I told him he had to walk back, though.  Y said if the water was too cold, they would not swim and would come straight home.  LOL!  Two solid weeks of 95+ degree weather with not a cloud in sight and he expects the water in the pond to be cold!  I bet it was over 80 degrees!  Forty minutes later, one slightly wet puppy and a very dry boy returned, exhausted and happy.  I even found a few minutes to walk the other two puppies while they were gone.  We returned as two dry puppies and one very sweaty Mama.

I guess the few hours apart did wonders for Bill and Y, because by the time Y got back from swimming, Bill had already begun to lay down the laminate floor again.  We had to put Goofy outside, because he kept trying to walk on the padding underneath.  I asked Bill if he wanted any help, and he said he could use someone to hand him the planks.  That would make things go faster.  After Y changed into dry clothes, he came down and began to watch us from the other side of the room.  When Bill went outside to cut a plank into smaller pieces, I asked Y if he wanted to help us.  God bless him, he really does want to please.  I showed him how to open the boxes up without scarring the flooring, and he proceeded to set the planks down on the floor for Bill to use.  Bill would've liked for him to go a little faster, but after a withering look from me, he quieted down.  We only got about another two feet of floor down because we had to wait for the glue to dry, to ensure that the floor would not bow up in the middle (yes, we used tightening screw thingys, too).  It's gonna look nice when it's all said and done.

Y was allowed to get on his computer later that evening, but only using his own log on name and password.  No more administrator rights for him.  His internet runs a little slower because it has to filter stuff, but he'll survive.  When his computer cut off at midnight, he came downstairs and asked us to use our account, but we told him, "No.  We're not doing that anymore."  He has been very good and not visited sites we don't want him on, but we do want to control the amount of time he spends on the computer.

Incidentally, we had just begun watching the season 2 premiere of "True Blood."  It's an awesome vampire show on HBO.  Some small portions of the show are above his age, but most of it is okay for a teenager.  Y asked what we were watching, probably because he did not recognize it.  I told him it was a vampire show.  "Vampir!!!  I like vampir!"  I already knew this, because we both share a love of gory Halloween stuff.  So, he cuddled up next to me to watch the last 25 minutes of the show.  Y kept asking who were the vampires, and were they good vampires or bad vampires?  I tried to answer all of his questions, but I finally had to say, "Be quiet!  I'm trying to watch this, too!"

It was nice to end the day with a family bonding moment.  Bill and I decided after he went to sleep, that one of us would preview the show each week and let the other know if it was appropriate for Y to watch that week.

Gotta go back to work right now.  I won't tell you what obscene amount of money they are paying me to work OT tonight.

Natalie

TX

Sneaky

Well, we tried the honor system with Y's computer, and he has not lived up to his end of the bargain.  On Thursday night around 10:15, I told him he had to turn the computer off and go to bed before midnight.  He kept joking that he was a big kid and he could go to sleep when he wanted to.  I told him there would be consequences if he did not.  Around 3am, Bill was in his office below Y's bedroom and he heard Y talking to someone in Russian.  Sometimes he talks in his sleep, but just in case, Bill turned the internet modem off.  Lo and behold, he quickly heard Y trying to figure out what happened, then he went to the bathroom and went to sleep.

When Y woke up, Bill told him that the Internet was broken (and it stayed that way until after dinner).  After I arrived home from work, Y told me that he was playing a game on the Internet and talking to a man, when the Internet quit, so he just went to bed.  I asked him what time this happened and he quite proudly told me 3am.  I told him he would have a consequence because he was told to go to bed before midnight and he did not.

So, now there are time limits on his parentally controlled computer.  He cannot use it from 10pm until 10am.  He was furious when he realized what I was doing.  He kept saying he wouldn't use the computer then.  Okay, fine with me.  But, five minutes later he was asking me to sign in using the administrator's password because his Internet was "slow."  Of course, it's slow - it has to filter out all the objectionable content.  Oh well, life is hard.  He can still play his games using his user name, so we told him that we would not sign him in using the administrator password under any circumstances.  At 10:07pm Y came downstairs and asked us to do that because his password didn't work any more.  Poor thing has no luck, as he went to bed by 10:30 due to boredom.

We also told him that he needs to keep the door to his bedroom open unless he is changing clothes or sleeping.  He said it's his room and he'll close the door if he wants to.  Okay, but if we come up here and find a closed door and you're not sleeping, then the computer will be taken out of your room and put in the newly expanded living room.

Bill and I discussed putting the computer in the living room anyway.  We think it will be better for him to be downstairs and at least around the rest of the family, even if he is playing Internet games.  Maybe we will "trade" him by allowing him to put the old TV with the Wii up in his room instead.

Y spent most of yesterday watching TV and taking Goofy to the pond to swim.  At least he won't get much computer time next week.  He has reading from 8am-10am Monday through Thursday at the school, and then directly after that he goes to cheer camp until 3pm each day.  Friday will be "all day" cheer camp from 9a-3p.  Also, on Tuesday afternoon he has soccer camp from 6-7:30p and cheer team practice from 6p-8:30p on Thursday.

Whew.  I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Natalie

Tx

Real Therapy and Finding a Funny Video

I was the only one who showed up for our therapy session this afternoon.  Read my post below to find out why Y and Bill did not go.

Mainly our therapist wanted to know how things were going since the money missing incident.  I told her that we hadn't completely heeded her advice, we thought it was too punitive.  Like I said in a previous post, we had an okay day on Saturday.  On Sunday we focused on getting the wheel barrow that we kept sort of not buying, and making sure all of the furniture was moved out of the way of that wall.  Y and Bill spent some time cleaning up Y's side of the room, while I made sure all of the DVDs were in their cases and removed them from the entertainment center to make it easier to move.  I never realized we had so many DVDs (around 400).  We really need to donate some of them to the women's shelter.  Y vacuumed the rug, and helped roll it up (area rug over laminate floor), and then Bill disconnected all of the electronics after I went to bed.  Under penalty of death was he to do that before I went to sleep.  I'm having TV withdrawal as we speak.

Late that afternoon we decided to reconnect Y's computer.  He had been very willing to help with everything we asked him to do over the weekend, and we felt he deserved to have it back.  When I gave it to him (Bill's idea, since I was the one to take it away), Y said, "You find you money?"  I told him, "No."  He tried to hand me back the computer.  I told him to take it upstairs and hook it up.  He deserved to use it now.  Fifteen minutes later, he was back downstairs, saying, "Mama, please.  You come computer."  Ahh, I was Mama again, and no longer Natasha.  Apparently Bill did not shut it down when he disconnected it, so Y did not understand what the computer was telling him.  PC that it is, it had to go through an entire process to check that everything was still okay.  I fixed that for him and went back downstairs.  Another hour went by, and again, "Mama, please.  You come."  This time he wanted to know how to download the pictures and videos from our camera onto his computer.  So, I showed him, and now he has photos of his friends at the internat, as well as photos and videos of each side of our family here, and, most importantly, of Goofy.

I decided it would be a good idea to download the same stuff to my computer, since I had not done it in over two months.  For some reason, the camera did not download about 5 short videos and 20+ pictures to my computer.  Then some idiot selected "delete after download," and I did not notice it for a few minutes.  I went upstairs and asked Y what did he want for dinner, McDonald's or pizza?  Difficult choice, but Mickey D's won out.  The next question was, do you want to go with me or do you want to stay home?  Home.  The computer is there.

After eating my oh so healthful dinner, I asked Y to come downstairs.  My sister in law and her son will be visiting us in about two weeks.  Y had met them over Easter and I wanted to show him their picture and tell him about the visit.  Lo and behold, I became aware of the idiot who deleted the photos from the camera after downloading!!!!  I wonder who she is?

So, I went up to Y's computer and showed him Margaret and Mike's picture.  He wanted to know if they were coming to see him (just him, not all of us).  Typical teenager, but I obliged and said, "Of course!"  I told him that Mike would be sleeping in his other bed and Aunt Margaret would either sleep on an air bed in my office or on the couch downstairs, her choice.  Y said he wants to sleep on the couch and they can share his bedroom.  We'll see.

Since I found several pictures missing, I decided to see what videos did not download.  I did not find any videos of the dogs, so I know I missed at least five of them.  One video did download that I did not expect.  Apparently, Y took the video camera to school with him one day.  Just put it in his cargo shorts, and off he went.  There is about 5 minutes of kids in his ESL class - not studying - while the teacher was out of the room.  Most of it is some other kid filming Y and a Chinese student playing 'hackey sack' with a beach type ball, with a Spanish speaking student narrating -

"Who will it be?  Russia vs. China for the World Cup!  Oh, and here comes Mexico to spoil it all!" and,

"Hey, what's he gonna do with this?" - "Probably put it on YouTube."

We will have to have a discussion about proper use of the video camera.

Now, for today's therapy session.  Basically, I told her all of the above.  She said she was glad we didn't heed her previous advice, and that if he did take the money, we may know in 6 mos or so, or maybe never.  She also said, that since we didn't know who lost/took the money, all three of us should share in trying to 'save' the family that $40.  That means that Bill and I would each have to pick something that would save us around $13 each (Y already gave up his computer).  And she said to tell Y why we were doing it, so that he sees we are all equally responsible.  We'll see about that, too.

Our therapist also said that she thinks we are doing remarkably well considering we went from no kids to a teenager.  She said that many of her clients who gave birth to their teenagers make more and bigger mistakes than she sees us making.  Bill has made huge strides in his parenting style.  I told her that he didn't get emotional over the money, he heeded her advice to say nothing to Y until I got home (yeah - leave it to Mom to do all the dirty work), and he just came into Y's room and dispassionately took his computer away when I asked him to do it.  He also let Y have time to cool off that evening and left him alone until the next day.  Then he kept talking to him, whether Y tried to push him away or not.  I also told her what I said to Y on Saturday after I got home from work:  "I love you, and I want you to know that there is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you."  Shortly after that, I got up and went into the other room.  No need to press the point with him at that time.  

When I told her about getting the fishing gear, she suggested night fishing in Galveston or on the Texas City dike.  I know nothing, so I'll pass that info on to Bill.  We also discussed getting info from the internat director about what they really need, and then helping Y to raise money to fulfill that need.  I just read another friends blog (they're there in S-town right now), and they said that there is no money to send the kids to camp this summer, so they're all just kind of hanging out and doing lots of nothing.  We probably can't help that this summer, but maybe we can prevent it from happening next summer.

Getting kind of tired of typing right now, and it's time to go to bed!

Natalie

TX

Demolition Therapy

We put the return of Bill's money from NYS child support to good use today.  We have been talking about removing the wall between the living room and 'dining room' ever since the day we moved in.  Bill wanted to do it while I was away in Ukraine, but our contractor friend guesstimated that it would cost $3500 + materials.  So, we decided to pass on that in January.  Just couldn't spend that kind of money and then maybe end up short while in Ukraine.

Last week, Bill called our friend back.  He asked if the economy was hurting them yet and was there anything we could do to reduce the cost of the wall removal.  He said if we did the demolition and Bill took care of the electrical work and the duct work, then it would be $1500 + materials.  I said, let's do it!  Then the check came in the mail, and it will cover a little over half of our costs.

So, bright and early this morning (9am or s0), our friend showed up to help with the demolition (he says he really likes that part of the job).  Y did quite a bit by himself.  He used one of our hammers to completely demolish one side of the wall, and a portion of the other side.  I helped cart the old drywall outside until I had to leave at 11:30 to work OT.  Y did all of the rest of the cleanup.  Bill and our friend went to Home Cheapo and spent about $400 on materials.  Whilst I was away at work, the demolition was completed, two temporary walls were installed, the original wall was removed, a new beam was installed, and another new wall was installed near the outer wall.

That was our only snag so far.  When we got near the outside wall, we found that there were a water and a waste line installed about 8 inches from the outer wall, instead of inside the outer wall.  It seems someone thinks it might actually freeze sometime down here in southeast TX.  We thought briefly of calling a plumber to move the lines, but that most likely would've added near $1k onto the price tag because the lines are embedded in the foundation.  So, we came up with two alternatives:

1.  Build a small "wall" jutting out just to contain the pipes, or

2.  Build a larger wall extending from the edge of the fireplace to the edge of the window (about 6.5 ft).

We decided that option #2 was the best aesthetic value.  It would've looked weird with just that column sized wall there.  Plus the entertainment center would've sat 8+ inches from the rest of the wall.  Now Bill says he may not want to put the entertainment center against the newly created wall (as previously planned).  He thinks maybe we should just mount the TV on the wall and use our huge entertainment center to "showcase" the back window.  Hmm, maybe I can get him to put a couple of shelves in the wall below the TV.

Natalie

TX